This Redditor wants to know if she’s wrong to refuse to pay her stepdad rent to save up for college. The issue seems straightforward enough, but wait until you hear why she did it!
Conservative Christian Stepdad
OP (Original Poster) lives with her mom, stepdad, and half-siblings. She recently turned 18, and the day after her birthday, her stepdad asked her to start paying £100 a month so she could “live in his house.”
She mentioned that her stepdad was a conservative and religious Christian.
A Reminder of His Wife’s Past
OP never expected that she would live rent-free with her family forever, but she knows that she was asked to pay rent now because she was a reminder that her stepdad’s wife is a non-virgin divorcee.
Because of that, OP’s stepdad treats her more like a guest than a family member. Sadly, her mom allows it because “she thinks the sun shines out of his a**.”
£100 a Month!
OP doesn’t have much money because she’s still in school. Yet, her stepdad wants her to pay a hefty amount every month—£100!
She said he didn’t need the money and was even willing to bet he wouldn’t do the same to his biological children when they reached her age.
Plans for the Future
OP explained that her goal is to get accepted into a medical course at a good university. To do that, she would need spectacular grades in her A-Level exams.
She couldn’t achieve this by working a part-time job, which she would need if she were to pay for rent.
She shared that she would be moving out in September and covering the loans she would take for university.
She explained, “In the UK, uni is funded by loans, and these loans cover everything and are 100% my responsibility, and my parents won’t be financing anything.”
It’s Unfair and Vindictive
OP feels like everything about the situation is unfair. She’s saving up for when she moves out, and her stepdad asking her to pay when he doesn’t even need the money is spiteful and vindictive.
She shared, “It feels spiteful and like he’s punishing me and making my life harder for being born.”
My Aunt Is My Savior!
OP’s aunt, her mom’s sister, had issues with OP’s stepdad and isn’t fond of him. So, when she found out about her niece’s predicament, she told her that he was being ridiculous and that she could live with her in her guestroom for free.
Her house is an hour away from her current home, but her school is in the middle. Because it was very beneficial for her, she agreed.
When they heard OP’s decision, her mom immediately started crying, saying she was leaving home too early. In turn, her stepdad got annoyed.
A Stepdaughter or Just a Tenant?
OP and her stepdad got into an argument. He said he treated her like a tenant, asking her to pay rent so she could learn more about the “real world.”
Then she said, “Do tenants not have the right to leave?” This further annoyed her stepdad.
Too Entitled or Saving Herself?
Her stepdad tried to shake her using her mom and said her decision hurt her mother. He also said OP was taking resources from her aunt because she was “too entitled” to pay rent, as he asked.
OP knew what was best for her, so she stood her ground and told them she would visit.
Insights From Redditors
All in all, Redditors think there’s nothing wrong with OP’s decision. The ones who should reflect are her mom and stepdad.
A top commenter said, “Actions, meet consequences. Your stepdad tried to flex on you, and his powerplay backfired. Your mother may be crying, but she let him do it. That house is half hers, and so is the decision to charge you rent. She is not blameless here.”
Thank You, Aunt!
People tried to show how lucky OP is to have her aunt and advised her to do her best to make her proud.
One person commented, “Work hard to crush your exams, and be super-considerate and make yourself very useful in your aunt’s household. God bless your aunt for sheltering you from stepdad and his nonsense!”
Don’t Let Them Take Advantage of You in the Future
The community is also thinking long-term and is trying to help OP realize that she doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of at any point in her life.
A Redditor said, “When you finally reach your goal and become a successful person—’cause I know you will—don’t let these so-called parents take advantage of you. There will be a time when they will come to you for money; it’s always for money! They will use the, ‘but we are family, I’m your mother, I raised you, you owe me or us.’ Just know you don’t owe them anything.”
You’re Doing What’s Right for You!
Some people tried to comfort OP and said that she was not the one upsetting her mom; it was her stepdad. One person also said that OP’s stepdad is the type of person who blames others for the mistakes he makes.
What would you advise OP to do? Do you think she did the right thing?
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This post first appeared as Her Conservative Stepdad Demands She Pays Rent Because She’s a Reminder of Her Mom Being a Non-virgin Divorcee. She Says, “He’s Making My Life Harder for Being Born.” on Quote Ambition.