Her Daughter Picked Her Husband Over Her and Made It Clear She “Had No Mother.” She Came Crawling Back, Wanting to Be Taken In, but She Refused. Now She’s Called a “Crazy Jerk!”

This user tried so hard to keep her daughter, but her daughter was the one who wanted to leave. So now, years later, she’s hesitant to welcome her with open arms!

Broken Families

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OP (Original Poster) divorced her ex-husband when her daughter, Maria, was only 10.

Financial Woes

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After the divorce, OP got the house they lived in. However, she needed help making ends meet since she was a stay-at-home mom.

Thankfully, after “lots of budgeting,” she got a job in the field she worked in before and was slowly able to finance their household.

A Wealthy Ex

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However, OP’s husband didn’t have the same problem. He was making good money and could spoil their daughter.

Messed up Relationship

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Since her ex-husband would spoil her daughter “rotten,” it really affected OP and her daughter’s relationship.

Non-existing Luxury

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OP couldn’t afford to give her daughter the kind of luxury her dad could give.

She wrote, “I would tell her I can’t afford to get her a $1,000 laptop, and it would cause a huge argument about how ‘Dad is better.’”

Strict Parenting

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OP suggested her daughter get a job, but an argument ensued between them.

Then, when OP’s daughter turned 17, she decided to drop out of high school. OP told her no, but she didn’t listen.

My Life, My Choice

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As an act of defiance, OP’s daughter told her it was “her life,” and she could do what she wanted.

Moving Out

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OP and her daughter kept arguing, and later, after another argument, she left to live with her dad permanently.

She wrote, “I tried to contact her multiple times, but she told me I wasn’t her mother anymore and left her alone.”

Years Later

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Now, OP’s daughter is 21. Her dad has gotten married again and basically “kicked her out.”

Daughter’s Pleading

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She called OP, and they decided to meet up. Her daughter wants to move back in with her, but OP’s only agreeing if she meets some conditions.

Tick off the List

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OP told her daughter that she needed to get her GED first. She also told her that she needs to start working and take a job that makes her work 25-plus hours a week.

Her Responsibilities

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Then, OP told her daughter that she needs to be looking into what her career will be and either go to a trade school or college,

She explained that she didn’t need to pay rent. However, she did need to buy her own stuff, like clothes and personal items.

A Must

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Then, OP noted that she needed to contribute to shared areas through chores and the like.

OP added, “Finally, no partying lifestyle. She needs to focus on getting her life together, not going out every night like she used to do, save it for the weekend.”

A Furious Woman

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After this, OP’s daughter blew up. She called OP a “crazy jerk” and accused her of being a “s*** mother.”

OP said, “I informed her that she made it clear she has no mother. She stormed out, and I am getting texts.”

Redditors’ Two Cents

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For users, OP was completely reasonable with her requests.

The top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. Those are completely reasonable requests. Beyond reasonable, even. You wouldn’t be out of line to ask for bills or contributions to household expenses. She’s right. It’s her life, and she can live it how she wants. That means she needs to find a way to pay for it. She can’t live off her parents for her whole life.”

The same person added, “It sounds like she was getting a free ride from Dad, and now that’s gone, she’s learning the hard way what actual adulting looks like. The ‘partying lifestyle’ thing is the only one close to being a line, but again—your house, your rules. It’s completely fair for you not to want your roommate coming home drunk at 2:00 AM every morning and being loud and disruptive. If she wants to go out every night, let her find her own place or roommates who are into that.”

Keep Your Ground

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Then, the rest of the community advised OP to hold her ground on the issue.

A woman wrote, “OP, it’s messed up that she basically disowned you as a mother, but now that she needs or wants something from you, you’re expected to ‘drop to her feet and be grateful?’ What you are asking for in exchange for a roof over her head is not too much. She just doesn’t want to do it. Don’t back down.”

Another said, “Even if she hadn’t disowned OP, she’s a 21-year-old adult. No one is required to give a freeloading adult a home, and the list of requirements is totally reasonable.”

Do you think OP’s too harsh? What would you do?

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This post first appeared as Her Daughter Picked Her Husband Over Her and Made It Clear She “Had No Mother.” She Came Crawling Back, Wanting to Be Taken In, but She Refused. Now She’s Called a “Crazy Jerk!” on Quote Ambition.

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!