This woman had had enough of her mother making her feel undeserving of happiness and love. So, she uninvited her from her upcoming wedding!
Awful Mother and Daughter Relationship
OP (Original Poster) is a 25-year-old soon-to-be bride. Sadly, unlike what happens in fairy tales, she and her mother had always had an awful relationship.
She shared that her mother used to be a gorgeous model, but after OP was born, her mom struggled to lose the weight gained during pregnancy. Because of this, OP was blamed for “ruining” her mother.
All the Abuse
From her childhood, OP’s mom always ensured that OP would see herself as “the ugliest person alive.” This led her to have multiple severe eating disorders and body dysmorphia.
Still in Contact
The eating disorders led to further complications, resulting in OP being hospitalized multiple times. She avoided her mom as much as possible but never cut contact completely.
She and her dad have a good relationship. So, she couldn’t cut her mom off because of him.
A Dream Come True
When OP met Gabriel, her now-fiancé, she couldn’t believe that he was attracted to her.
She shared, “He’s a very good-looking man, and although he would call me pretty at every single possibility, I’m just now, after three years together, believing him.”
Healing Is a Process
The healing process was challenging because of all the abuse OP had been suffering since she was young. However, Gabriel had been an essential part of it.
She noted, “I’m so grateful for having him in my life.”
Wedding Plans and Family Dinners
The week this story was posted, OP’s and Gabriel’s families were having dinner together and discussing wedding plans. Somehow, the conversation drifted to old, happy memories.
However, that’s when OP’s toxic mom weaved her way into the conversation and told her fiancé, “I still don’t know why such a good-looking man like yourself is settling down for that.” She emphasized the word “that” and gave OP a look that one would “only get from a high school mean girl.”
What Are You Even Saying?
OP’s mom then laughed nonchalantly and continued sipping on her drink. It was like she wasn’t even aware she said something so mean.
Everyone at their table went dead quiet. However, Gabriel’s mom, OP’s future mother-in-law, immediately confronted her mom.
She’s Too Ugly!
However, OP’s toxic mom didn’t back down and said, “What? She’s too d*** ugly for him. You should be concerned, too.” OP felt all the bad memories rushing back, and she said she felt like she was in high school again.
She said, “It felt like all the hard work that I put into healing suddenly didn’t matter.”
Taking Back Her Invitation
OP broke down immediately. However, before she stormed out, she told her mom, “Don’t you f****** dare show up at my wedding!”
After that, OP got comforted by Gabriel and his family. They even talked to her dad about what had happened during dinner.
He understood why OP uninvited her mom but still urged her to reconsider because “she was drunk” and OP is “her only child.”
She Still Meant It!
For OP, though her mom was drunk, she was sure she knew exactly what she was talking about.
OP wrote, “I know she was drunk, but it still hurt like a b****, and it’s something that she totally meant because it’s not the first time that she talks about me like that.”
Since the whole issue started, OP’s mom hasn’t apologized. Instead, she’d been sending OP messages saying she was “overreacting” and would “regret” not having her own mom at her wedding.
Her Support System
Thankfully, Gabriel and the rest of his family were on OP’s side. She even noted that her future in-laws, especially her future mother-in-law, had become very overprotective of her.
They told her that she could call them her mom and dad. While OP felt thankful, she said, “I do feel, however, sad for my dad, who has to put up with all of that, and I’m afraid to regret my decision.”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
Redditors believed that OP was emotionally abused and she had all the right to cut her toxic mother off her life.
One wrote, “Not only was she grossly rude to you, but now she’s trying to dismiss your feelings completely. I would consider going no contact.”
Another shared, “OP, your entire story breaks my heart. You were 100% emotionally abused. And what I find disheartening is that even today, you are remotely considering that you might be the a**hole. For the sake of your mental health, please consider going no contact with your mom. You simply do not need such toxicity in your life.”
Your Dad Made Some Mistakes, Too!
For some, OP also has to reconsider her relationship with her dad. They said it was impossible for him not to have seen what her mom was doing to her, and sitting by idly made him guilty.
“OP, I don’t know if you want children in the future, but if you don’t go no contact now, you sure will the moment your mom starts to verbally abuse your child. I’m honestly on the fence when it comes to her dad being totally innocent in this. He has probably witnessed this abuse all along and has done nothing to stop it. Now he is expecting OP to forgive her mom to continue this cycle of abuse. Go no contact with both parents,” wrote one Redditor.
Another woman agreed and said, “Not the a**hole, OP. I agree about OP’s dad. As a parent, I think my spouse abusing our child would leave me 50% responsible for the abuse. Parents should protect their children, even if that means divorcing their spouse. Her dad is an enabler, and OP should try to recognize his responsibility to protect herself from the continued abuse.”
How would you comfort OP? Should she go no contact with both her mom and dad?
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This post first appeared as Her Mother Insulted Her During Their Families’ Dinner When She Said She’s “Too Ugly” for Her Fiancé. She’s Had Enough of Her Abuse, so She Banned Her From Her Wedding! on Quote Ambition.