This Redditor had had enough of her parents having double standards when it came to her and her brothers. So, she taught them a lesson to show them how wrong they were to do so!
Simplifying Things
OP (Original Poster) prefaced her post by saying she knew there was no definitive answer as to who’s actually wrong in this story, but she still wanted everyone’s opinions.
She added, “Also, for simplicity’s sake, I’ll be saying parents, but it is my mother and stepfather. My mother and stepdad have been together since I was little.”
Her Mom and Stepdad
She also wanted to point out that her mom and stepdad never got married.
OP shared, “I’d like to point out that the two aren’t married and are steadfast that they won’t be getting married again; both of them divorced already, my stepdad twice.”
OP and Her Brothers
OP is a 25-year-old with two older brothers. She then explained that while they were growing up, no one was allowed to have their partners spend the night, which OP felt was fair.
Change in Rules
However, when her brothers turned 16, their parents allowed their girlfriends to stay over, albeit in the spare bedroom.
OP wrote, “Again, fair. That makes sense to me.”
Her Personality
It wasn’t much of an issue with OP. She was “somewhat of a tomboy,” and teen boys “didn’t show much interest in her romantically.”
OP only got her first boyfriend when she turned 18.
Double Standards
However, her parents wouldn’t allow her then-boyfriend to spend the night. She said, “I wouldn’t have minded if my brothers had been held to that standard, but I felt as if they were favored over me. It isn’t even because they disliked my boyfriend at the time either. Everyone seemed to love him.”
Her relationship with him didn’t last for more than six months, so OP dropped her argument after a while.
A More Permanent Relationship
When OP turned 22, she got engaged, and she and her partner had been together for a year. They were also going to get married in a few months.
Before they got engaged, she mentioned that “just like every time before,” her parents wouldn’t allow her fiancé to stay the night.
Almost Blowing Up
They only allowed him to when OP brought the issue up to her parents again a few months after they got engaged.
OP’s parents knew she was getting irritated, so they allowed him to stay over using the spare room. They never allowed them to sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed.
Moving Out and Moving In
Not long after, OP moved out of her parents’ house and into her new place with her fiancé. The first time her mom contacted her after the move, she asked how OP’s wedding planning was going.
Let’s Bond!
When OP told her mom that she still had a lot to sort out, her mom “practically insisted on coming up to her” and having a week of “mother-daughter bonding time” where she could help her with anything she needed regarding the wedding planning.
She wrote, “My fiancé isn’t a very social person and is happy to be the money bags behind my wedding decisions. He just likes to give little opinions, and I’m sure to include them when he does.”
Complications
When they arrived, OP and her parents spent the first day going out to dinner. After, OP’s parents asked to be shown to their room.
However, instead of giving them one room, OP showed her mom to one guest room and her stepdad to another. She wrote, “We have a three-bedroom with no kids yet, so we have the space.”
This Won’t Work
OP’s mom said there was “plenty of room” in one for both of them and instructed OP’s stepdad to go with her.
However, OP said things weren’t going to go like that. She wrote, “I explained that, just like she told me, it was my house, and I didn’t want them sharing a bed in my house. I basically repeated word for word what she would tell me when I’d complain about my brothers getting better treatment than me when it came to their partner.”
You’re Just Like Us!
She made it a point to mention that, like OP and her fiancè, her mom and stepdad weren’t married yet, either. OP’s mom started to argue with her that their relationship was different; they’d been together for almost two decades, after all!
OP replied by saying that it “didn’t matter” because they were staying at her house, and her decision was final, like how her mom would shut down any of her pleas back then. She said, “I was sure to mention how my brothers were allowed their partners and I wasn’t, but she claimed I was ‘making it up.’”
I Was Going to Let It Go
OP explained that her parents stayed for one night and left the next day, which she “preferred” because she was content and happy planning for her wedding on her own.
She hadn’t heard from them since, but her grandmother called to scold her about what she had done. So, now, OP is wondering if what she did was too much.
Her True Feelings
OP was trying to teach her parents a lesson to show them how wrongly and unfairly they treated her before.
She wrote, “I don’t mind the rules they have. It’s their home, but it was the double standard for me. I had to wait until 25 to have my fiancé stay at my house when my brothers could have whoever they wanted from 16. My intention was never to make them sleep the whole week separately. It was initially a ‘Now the power is in my hands. Do you see the error of your ways?’ If they did, we could have moved on and laughed about it, and they would have slept in the same bed. Because they didn’t and doubled down and started getting aggressive with me, claiming I was ‘making things up.’”
The Community’s Thoughts
The community reassured OP and said that she did nothing wrong. She’s an adult, and she owns the house!
This user wrote, “I don’t think I’d call you an a**hole; after all, you’re treating them in exactly the way they treated you and what’s good for the goose and all that. The bottom line is that, as you say, your house, your rules, and if you choose to make them abide by the same rules you had to, even if it seems petty, that’s your choice.”
Another commented, “This is another ‘Parents doing stupid s***: I can do whatever I want.’ and ‘Parents on death bed: Why don‘t my children want to visit me?’ OP is petty as f***, and I’m here for it. Definitely not the a**hole.”
What do you think of what OP did? Do you think her parents learned their lesson?
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This post first appeared as Her Parents Forbade Her From Sharing a Bed With Her Fiancé at “Their House.” So, She Taught Them a Lesson When They Spent a Night at “Her Home!” on Quote Ambition.
