OP’s (Original Poster) wedding became a heated issue as her family insisted on a joint ceremony with her sister. But OP loathes the thought of being in the same room as her sister’s fiancé!
Their Engagement
OP prefaced her story by explaining that she and her fiancé had been engaged for about 10 weeks when this story was posted.
They have already made plans for November 2021. However, they intend to postpone the wedding if the issues surrounding their union are still present.
The Real Problem
OP explained that she and her sister, Rosie, have always had a complicated relationship. However, OP’s main problem lies with her sister’s fiancé—Mick—who OP detests.
She said, “Mick is like a caricature of the phrase’ toxic masculinity.’”
His Toxic Behavior
One time, OP’s seven-year-old daughter painted her five-year-old son’s and her fiancé’s nails. Mick crossed the line and called her son and fiancé “sissies” just because they had nail polish on.
OP also shared that Mick used to hit on her in the past and “s***-shamed” her. She said, “So yeah. Hate him. Fiancé also hates him.”
Wedding Plans
In terms of her wedding planning, OP’s parents wanted to invite about 40 people to their wedding—double OP’s original guest list. They agreed on them paying two-thirds of the wedding since two-thirds of the guests would be theirs.
When OP shared her story, the venue was the only piece of her wedding that had been finalized. She said it was fortunate they’d secured it since there were only three venues in the area; November 2021 was also the earliest date available across all the options.
Double Weddings and More
Then, Rosie and Mick announced their engagement a week before this story was posted. Rosie had started looking for venues, but unfortunately, the next available date was April 2022.
OP didn’t expect that her parents would suddenly suggest they now have a double wedding. She wrote, “Everyone involved is aware of the issues we have with Mick.”
She Has the Final Say
OP and her fiancé refused to share the wedding. Despite their refusal, OP’s parents claimed that since they were paying for most of the wedding expenses, they should have the final say.
OP didn’t want to give in and said, “You don’t get a say on who is getting married.”
A Deeper and Bigger Issue
OP’s parents started getting agitated. They accused OP of being “immature” and said she should learn to “share the spotlight.”
Still, OP was not backing down. She explained that her issue was seeing Mick, someone she detests, standing beside her fiancé at the altar on her wedding day!
Not a Chance
Her parents tried to use the “young lady” tactic on her, but she’s nearly 28, and it wasn’t working. They then guilt-tripped her, saying it wasn’t fair for Rosie to wait 18 months to get married.
They again brought up that they were paying for two-thirds of the wedding. Since they weren’t interfering with anything else, OP should allow them to do what they wanted in this regard.
Back to the Original Plan
Fed up, OP decided to cover all their wedding expenses and return to the original guest list. This time, though, she’s removing her parents, Rosie, and Mick, from those invited.
OP wrote, “I definitely just snapped at the moment, but the idea of sharing my wedding with Mick gives me a visceral negative reaction.”
You’re Overreacting!
After the conversation ended, OP’s fiancé said he was surprised by her decision but still supported her.
On the flip side, her parents and sister felt she overreacted and called her an “a**” for uninviting them over one thing they wanted at the wedding, which they’re paying for.
Turning Into a Bridezilla!
OP felt pretty confident with her decision, but her brother—who hates Mick as much as she does—said she needed to “calm the f*** down.” He told OP that the practical solution would be returning their parent’s money and removing their guests, not uninviting them entirely.
Her brother even said that OP would become a “full bridezilla” unless she fixed it.
Returning the Money
In an edit, OP shared that she will 100% give the money back to her parents.
She said, “The idea of the money was that we add my parents’ guests, which is no longer happening, so I’ll be returning their money.”
What the Community Has to Say
The community went wild, giving OP a virtual high five for standing her ground.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the f****** a**hole. They told you, a grown-a** woman, that you have to share a wedding? Ah, hell no. I agree with you about declining their money and their guests. Good for you for standing up to them.”
Impulsive Reactions
Some Redditors chimed in with a slightly different take on the situation.
One wrote, “Not the a**hole. Sure, it was a knee-jerk reaction—I agree with your brother. But you have plenty of time to make amends if that’s what you want. I’d elope, to be honest.”
Another said, “Not the a**hole but your brother was right—would have made more sense and caused less damage if you’d rejected the money and extra guests but let them attend. That said, it’s pretty clear you were in a tense situation and didn’t really have time to think it out. They were being incredibly unreasonable, and I wouldn’t give in on the question of who is getting married. I might give way to the uninviting, but I’d do it in a private conversation that doesn’t include your sister so they can’t gang up on you, and I’d preface it by saying that you aren’t budging on the main issue.”
Do you think OP made the right decision? Do you think she acted impulsively and overreacted?
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This post first appeared as Her Parents Forced Her to Have a Double Wedding With Her Sister and Her Misogynistic and Perverted Fiancé. She Refused, Returned Their Money, and Banned Everyone From Her Big Day! on Quote Ambition.
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