This Redditor couldn’t believe how ashamed his brother was of him, his husband, and his choices. So, he decided not to attend his wedding!
An Awkward Brotherly Bond
OP (Original Poster) and his older brother never had a good relationship. However, it got a lot worse when OP came out as gay.
Fortunately, in the last two years, he could confidently say that their relationship had gotten a “bit better.”
A Judgmental Future Sister-In-Law
In those two years, OP’s brother met his now fiancé. Unfortunately, OP never got along with her because she “doesn’t like” gay people.
OP wrote, “In her mind, we are sick.”
Sick in the Head
One time, OP argued with her, and she told him that he “needed help” because he was “sick in the head and needed professional help.”
Apparently, this wasn’t the only hurtful thing she told OP. There were more, but OP didn’t want to go into the details because it wasn’t the main point of his story.
A few days before this story was posted, OP’s brother visited him. OP noted that it was a surprise since he doesn’t visit often.
He let his brother in, and they started talking. During the conversation, OP’s brother shared that he was getting married, so OP congratulated him.
After talking for a few minutes, his brother told him he had to tell him something important. OP asked his brother what was wrong, and he said he wanted OP to attend his wedding.
The problem was he wanted OP to attend without his husband and instead bring a woman!
Forcing His Views on OP
OP asked his brother why his husband couldn’t come, and he just said that his fiancé wanted it that way. He also told OP that it was just for one day, so he should just accept it.
He was absolutely livid and got into an argument with his brother. OP said, “I told him that he shouldn’t expect me to attend since I wouldn’t be there.”
A Furious Groom
At this, OP’s brother got angry, too. He told OP he was an “a**hole” who didn’t want him to be happy.
Mom and Dad’s Thoughts
After this, OP’s mom called him, asking him what was wrong since his brother just called her, saying they fought. OP told his mom what happened, and she told OP that she’d love to see him at his brother’s wedding but would also understand if he didn’t attend.
His dad, however, disagreed. OP wrote, “My father, on the other hand, messaged me telling me that I’m an a**hole for hurting my brother’s feelings, but his reactions are nothing new.”
Ignoring the Naysayers
The next day, OP woke up to many texts from family and friends. He looked through most of them but ultimately decided to ignore all the messages since they were mostly “bad.”
The rest of OP’s morning went well, and he and his husband left at 11 to attend his nephew’s soccer game. After the game, they left and had some fun together.
A Heartbreaking Message
However, OP’s good mood wasn’t going to last long. An hour after they got home, his sister called him and told him that she and their brother had a fight over what transpired the night before.
OP wrote, “When I asked what happened, she told me that she asked him why I can’t bring my husband, and he straight up told her it is because he is ashamed of me.”
A Supportive Sister
OP’s sister was livid, and they got into a huge fight, ending with her no longer attending the wedding.
She and OP talked for a bit longer, and they planned to meet in a couple of days to spend some time together.
Immediately after OP hung up, he started crying.
He wrote, “I always thought my brother at least had a little bit of love for me, but I was wrong. I’m honestly planning on cutting him out of my life, and if he ever wants to be back in my life, then he has to show me he deserves it.”
This Has to Stop
Initially, OP wanted to attend his brother’s wedding. After all, he’s still his brother, and he loves him, but banning his husband and then saying he was ashamed of OP started to put things into perspective.
OP’s a mess and wants “all this crap” to stop. He wrote, “I hope he has a good wedding and that he’ll be happy, but I’m done.”
The Community’s Suggestions
Redditors rallied behind OP, supporting him in his decision to boycott his brother’s wedding.
A top commenter said, “Honestly, you shouldn’t go. Your brother doesn’t leave a woman who’s disrespectful towards his family. Your relationship might have improved, but honestly, I don’t feel like it’s enough. Now wanting you to come where you know his wife doesn’t accept you and he doesn’t try to defend you—even if I understand that he is kind of h*********—it’s another thing. And even have the nerve to ask you to pretend to have a girl? You’re married to your husband, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s just your boyfriend—even there, I think it’s problematic. That’s not normal that you’re being asked to deny your s******** to attend a wedding.”
Another user wrote, “Going would be a complete betrayal of your husband to go. Frankly, your brother is an a** for allowing his fiancé to disrespect your marriage.”
Cut off the Negativity!
People were happy OP had his sister to support him. However, even so, they’re still appalled by how shameless OP’s brother acted.
“What a s***** thing to say! I’m glad your sister stood up for you. I hope your brother changes his mind, but you shouldn’t be sorry about this decision not to go. I hope you and your husband have a great time together on that day! Make it count,” remarked one Redditor.
Another person suggested, “Cut them all out. If your family can’t love you for who you are, then they’re no family at all. You’re awesome and deserve love, respect, and happiness. I don’t have the entire family history here, but it sounds like a few members of your family look down on you because of who you love, and no one needs that in their life. I hope your husband’s family is more loving and accepting of you guys. There’s no good reason your brother couldn’t swallow his h********* if he really loves you, but, as you said, he’s ashamed. Sounds like he’s only p***** because his bride isn’t getting the picture-perfect wedding she wants.”
What advice would you give OP? What do you think about his brother?
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This post first appeared as His Homophobic Brother Demanded He Boycott His Husband on His Wedding and Attend With a Woman Instead, so He Refused. Now His Brother Says He’s a “Jerk” He’s “Ashamed” Of! on Quote Ambition.