This user moved into a new condo, and his parents came with him. But now his brother and his pregnant wife showed up and demanded to have his bedroom, and he said no!
A Beautiful View
OP (Original Poster) is a 25-year-old man who lives with his parents in a “very expensive city.” They stay in a three-bedroom, high-rise apartment, and OP’s name is on the mortgage.
This all came about because OP’s mother wanted to move to the city since she was “tired of living in the country,” and OP agreed to move with them because the town boasted “many software engineering jobs.” Ultimately, OP was able to land a high-paying job and make six figures, while his mother and father are school teachers, and their combined income is still under what he earns.
OP noted that he worked from home sometimes and also covered “75% of the bills,” and his name is on the mortgage, so the spare bedroom was his office. Everything was going well until his brother and sister-in-law came into the picture.
His brother, James, and his brother’s wife, Mary, had stayed behind in the old state. However, once they discovered Mary was pregnant, OP’s mom and dad invited them to move into their home.
Forced to Move
OP didn’t know about the invitation his mother had given, so when James and Mary showed up at OP’s home, he was stunned.
They demanded his room, which had a walk-in closet and bathroom. OP shut them down immediately and suggested they could stay in the office since it had an air mattress for guests.
A Whiff of Drama
However, OP’s parents sided with his brother, telling him to give up his room for the couple. OP wasn’t budging, though, and reminded them of how he pays most of the bills; if they forced him to give up his room, he’d move out.
This immediately angered OP’s mother, who yelled at him and called him a “jerk.” His father remained more level-headed and told James and Mary to go to the spare room, and OP hoped and thought that was the end of the issue.
The next day, OP had gone into the office at his place of work but had forgotten his laptop, so during lunch, he came home to discover his sister-in-law removing his belongings from his room. OP blew up at her and asked her “what the hell” she was doing.
To this, Mary screamed back at him and said his mom had told her to do this. OP then grabbed all the stuff she’d moved and “threw it on the floor” of his bedroom and told her that if their things were in his room when he got back from work, he’d be kicking her and James out.
Full Blown Problem
OP returned to work, and while he was there, James and his mother blew up his phone with texts and phone calls. His dad then started a group chat and said there would be a “family meeting” once everyone got home.
Preparing for Trouble
OP wasn’t about to back down, so on his way home, he stopped at a store to buy a door knob with a lock for his bedroom door. When he entered his home, his parents, James, and Mary, were all seated on the couch.
His brother immediately tried to get in his face, but since OP is taller and bigger, he “put his hand on his face” and “shoved him out of the way.” OP gained some small satisfaction in knowing that this probably infuriated his brother since he’s older than OP.
OP’s dad finally spoke up and said he should let James and Mary have his room. Mary smiled at OP when his dad said this, and OP angrily reminded them that he paid most of the bills and that his name was on the mortgage.
He said, “If they want the bigger room, they could either pay me rent or the four of them can move out.”
Delivering an Ultimatum
His father then tried to “bargain” with him, but OP told him he was done talking about the matter and if he heard about it again, he’d “evict everyone.”
Mary started crying immediately, but OP ignored this and went to his room. From there, everyone gave OP the “silent treatment,” except for his dad, who treated him “okay.”
He had hoped that everything would calm down after this, but the next night, when he came home from dinner, he discovered his mother had made everyone dinner except him. She then told OP that “until he gave up his room and was a good son,” she wouldn’t be cooking him dinner any longer.
Unexpectedly, OP’s dad agreed with this, even though OP paid for all the groceries, too. So, he went into his room and printed off eviction notices for his mom and dad; he didn’t bother to for his brother and sister-in-law since they hadn’t been there long enough to be considered “squatters.”
He then told James and Mary they had “one hour to pack and get out,” or he’d call the police. To his parents, he said they had “30 days to leave” or he’d take “legal action.”
His mother quickly changed her tune and begged OP to let them stay and tried to give him her plate of food. OP told her it “wasn’t about the food,” but it was the fact that they were trying to make him give up his room unfairly.
A Family Divided
From there, OP’s parents paid for James and Mary to stay the night in a hotel. Then, his mother tried to apologize, but he ignored her and went into his room to get away, unsure if he’d been an a**hole or not.
Trying to Patch Things Up
After some time, OP returned to the thread with multiple updates to his story, starting with the fact that his mother had been texting him nonstop with apologies. When he got home from work, his parents, James, and Mary sat on the couch once more, but this time, instead of arguing, they apologized to OP.
James then stated that he’d thought the request for OP to give up his room had seemed “small” because he felt like OP had a “perfect life.” Because of this, he’d thought OP wouldn’t have any issue accommodating him in his time of need because that’s “what family does.”
OP explained as a side note that due to their father being a veteran, he and James were able to get a free education. James is debt-free, but because James had changed his major five times, he had to pay for three years of extra coursework that wasn’t covered.
Their parents had taken on this burden and were still in debt because of it. They had also refused to sell or rent their old house because James had convinced them he’d like to “start a family there someday.”
Lies on Top of Lies
As OP spoke with James, he discovered that James was falsely under the impression that the condo was in their parents’ names and that OP didn’t earn anywhere near as much as he actually did. OP explained to him that the property was in his name, that he was making six figures, and that their parents couldn’t afford to live in the city without him because of the mortgage back home and James’s student debt.
James was taken aback to learn he’d been lied to by his parents about the student loans and mortgage on the old house, and as soon as he asked them why they’d lied to him, their mother burst into tears. She explained it all began when they had started babying James to compensate for the fact that OP had done better in life than James, and they didn’t want James to start resenting OP for that.
A Dark Secret Revealed
Later, James invited OP out for drinks, where the first thing he did was genuinely apologize to OP and tell him he’d never been jealous of him and that he was “proud” of OP for all of his accomplishments. Then, he “dropped a huge bomb” on OP.
James revealed to OP that during his senior year of high school, he’d come home early to catch their mother having an affair with their uncle; he had taken a “video as evidence,” ready to show their dad, but he ended up reconsidering that decision because he didn’t want to “break up” the family. Instead of talking to anyone, he had turned to drugs and alcohol to help him cope, but when their mother had yelled at him for being drunk in the middle of the day, he had shown her the video; ever since then, their mother had started the “jealous thing” to hide her affair.
Shedding Light on the Past
James had left it up to OP’s discretion on whether to tell their father about their mother’s affair. While OP was conflicted at first on whether he should, he ultimately ended up telling his father everything.
His father took the news better than OP had expected. His father stated he’d “been married for 30 years,” and he wanted things to stay the same at this point. OP added, “He admitted that his brother told him that one time when he was drunk, but he thought he was trying to upset him. I know everybody was saying that my mom was a narcissist, but she never displayed these behaviors. She was a woman loved by everyone. He never suspected a thing.”
In the same update, OP explained that he had always thought his dad was a “pushover,” and his staying in his marriage despite the affair really makes that fact shine through. OP believes his dad is “comfortable with life the way it is.”
Redditors’ Two Cents
The community leaped to OP’s defense and reassured him that he was definitely within his rights to be upset over his parents’ demands that he give up his room to his brother when he was paying all the bills. To add onto all of this, the revelations he’s just learned were utterly mind-boggling!
One user said, “Not the a**hole. Your mom just decided to ask your brother and sister-in-law to move into the home that you paid for and then decided to play games. Well, the four of them can just move back since they can’t afford this city on their own. That was the stupidest attempt at a powerplay I’ve ever seen. It is time for you to enjoy your place on your own.”
“Not the a**hole. After a stunt like that, my parents wouldn’t live with me anymore ever again. I would not be able to trust them. Not making you a plate until you become a ‘good son?’ What the f***. I guess living under your roof wasn’t good enough. My mind is blown. Follow through on the eviction. Live alone for a while, and then see if you want them back in your space. Oh my God, your family is obnoxiously entitled.”
Do you think OP was right to be furious at his parents and brother and sister-in-law for trying to kick him out of his own room in his own home? Do you think OP should have relented and given up his room to his brother and his pregnant sister-in-law?
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This post first appeared as His Parents Let His Brother and His Pregnant Wife Move Into His Condo Without Permission. Furious, He Demanded They Kick Them Out, Else He’d “Evict” Everyone! Was He a Jerk? on Quote Ambition.