This Redditor wants to ban her 20-year-old cousin from her child-free wedding—just because she has autism! Now everyone’s furious, wanting her to change her mind!
Their Child-Free Dream Wedding
OP (Original Poster) will be getting married to the love of her life in the spring of 2024. Throughout the wedding planning process, OP and her fiancé decided they didn’t want any kids at their wedding.
We’re All on Board!
Only a few of their family and friends still had young kids.
She said, “The ones that do are fine with getting a sitter for the weekend since we gave them a lot of notice.”
Aunt and Niece Face Off
However, OP has an aunt and uncle who have a daughter with autism. She’s 20 and will be 21 by the time OP’s wedding comes around, and they’re “putting up a fight” when it comes to OP’s wedding’s invitation rules.
Sneak Peek of Her Independence
OP’s cousin is categorized under what the field called “high functioning.” This meant her cousin could talk, wash and dress herself, and make friends.
In fact, her cousin was able to graduate high school a couple of years before this story was posted. She’s currently living with her parents, OP’s aunt and uncle, while working at a grocery store.
I Just Don’t See It
OP’s cousin is technically an adult, but she “just doesn’t see her as such.”
She wrote, “Every time I talk to her at a family gathering, it’s like talking to a child.”
Piquing Her Interest
Instead of the usual adult stuff, OP’s cousin is “obsessed” with toy ponies and Barbie dolls. She noted that she brought it up whenever she could.
In Her Own Little World
Aside from this, OP’s cousin would constantly draw in her notebook. She wouldn’t even make eye contact whenever she talked to OP!
A Bride’s Fears
OP noted that her cousin doesn’t have “meltdowns” like other kids with special needs that she’d met before. Even so, she doesn’t want to “risk” her “ruining” her special day.
So, when OP told her aunt and uncle about her decision to ban their child from her wedding, they were understandably upset.
OP wrote, “They said she already saw the invite and knew it was child-free, but because she is an ‘adult,’ she thought she was still included.”
Step One: Emotional Blackmail
OP’s aunt even tried to guilt her into changing her mind. She told OP she’d already picked out a dress and a gift.
However, OP didn’t want to hear anything about the issue anymore.
Her Fiancè’s Opinions
Apart from this, OP’s fiancé also thinks she’s going too far.
OP said, “My fiancé says I’m being an a**hole, and we should let her attend because she has attended other weddings before with no issue.”
There Is No Way Out of This
OP feels down since “everyone is making her feel horrible” for not treating her cousin as an adult. However, until now, she doesn’t believe she was one because she “doesn’t act like one.”
She asked, “Am I the a**hole?”
The Community’s Reactions
For users, OP’s discrimination toward her cousin was just through the roof!
One commented, “You’re the a**hole. What exactly makes you think she would ‘ruin your special day?’ Simply the fact that she is autistic?”
Another person wrote, “Aesthetics. I mean, I’m a woman who loves an aesthetic event. But I don’t place that above other people. This OP clearly does. And I don’t think OP is worried about anything. I think this has everything to do with not wanting the ‘undesirables’ at her wedding. To be clear, just so no one is confused, the ‘undesirables’ comment is meant to be sarcastic or facetious. It is not my personal belief but what I think OP’s belief is.”
Get Over Yourself!
The community is just furious at how OP’s handling things. One even commented that it’d be better if OP’s fiancé looked at her actions and reconsidered the wedding!
“OP, get over yourself. Your cousin literally is an adult who, like you said, doesn’t actually cause disruptions or has sensory issues that make sitting through events like weddings hard. You have no reason not to invite her other than you not liking her. I don’t know. Frankly, it sounds like you’re the difficult one in the family,” said one woman.
The same person said, “Go ahead and not invite her. But be warned that blaming your cousin’s autism is ableist and will likely lead to a bunch of family not showing up for your ‘big day’ since they also see you as an a**hole. But no worries. You sound like you are someone who appreciates ‘aesthetics.’ Think of it as guest minimalism. Imagine the photos—spaced out and gaps between guests, such a vibe. Or better yet, maybe your fiancé will get the drift, and there won’t be a wedding. He’s already saying you’re the one in the wrong. Wanna bet what will happen if you actually go through with it?”
Do you think OP should wake up to reality? Do you think there’s another reason behind her actions?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her 20-Year-Old Cousin From Her Wedding, Just Because She’s Autistic! She Says It’s “Child-Free,” and She “Acts Like a Child,” so Now Everyone’s Furious, Saying She’s a “Jerk!” on Quote Ambition.