This Redditor lost her husband, so she was shell-shocked when her brother told her to abort her baby. Now that she’s given birth, she will absolutely not let him near her son!
Standing on Her Own Two Feet
OP’s (Original Poster) husband died in a car accident when she was four months pregnant. It’s been undeniably challenging, but thankfully, she had her family to support her.
Her family immediately stepped in and tried doing everything to help her out with whatever she needed. OP eventually moved in with them a month after her husband died.
However, alarm bells rang in her head when her brother suddenly asked her for a minute to talk during the funeral. She agreed, and they stepped away for a bit.
Making the “Right” Decision
OP’s brother suddenly asked her if she was sure she wanted to go through with her pregnancy.
She wrote, “I was shocked when I heard this but even more shocked when he suggested that I ‘make the right decision, not an emotional decision, and reconsider having my son.’”
A Lot of Baggage
Her brother told her many reasons. However, one of the most hurtful ones that stood out was how “single or widowed moms” are considered “too much of a baggage” for so many men to date.
OP had had enough and “lost it” on her brother. She kicked him out of the funeral, and she noted that that was the last time she saw him.
A Healthy Baby Boy
Now, her son is currently three weeks old. OP’s whole family has met him, with the exception of her brother, and they were all happy to welcome him.
Just a Peek
OP’s parents have since then asked her if she could let her brother come to meet her son—even for just a few hours. They even started guilt-tripping her about it!
When OP refused, her parents warned her that she was making a big mistake. They told her she was “robbing” her son of a “future loving relationship” with his uncle.
A Complete Turn
Like her brother did, her parents tried to manipulate her emotionally.
OP wrote, “They asked that I don’t let my emotions dictate a decision that might have a lasting impact.” But OP wouldn’t budge and told them no.
Apart from this, OP’s brother also started insisting that he was a good friend of OP’s late husband. So, what she was doing now would make her late husband “upset” if he saw it.
Because of this, their extended family got involved and started pushing for OP to agree.
Although OP’s family kept pushing her to give in, Redditors advised her to hold her ground.
“Not the a**hole; every time he says how much of a dear friend he was, remind him of that ‘talk’ from his ‘dear’ friend’s funeral. Hell, remind the whole d*** family of it,” said a top commenter.
Another user suggested, “Repeatedly remind them all until your child is old enough to understand what you are saying! Not the a**hole at all, OP.”
Give It to Them Straight
Some users told OP to be firm and clear about what would happen if her brother or the rest of her family kept pressuring her to do something she didn’t want to do.
This Redditor wrote, “If he keeps pulling this manipulative bulls***, tell him that if he’d had his way, there would be no nephew to meet so he can go on pretending he got his way. Tell the family the same thing. That the day you were burying your husband, your brother told you that you should abort your child and bury him, too. Not the a**hole, OP. Until your brother sincerely apologizes and makes amends—and to be honest, I don’t know that I would ever see my brother the same way again—he doesn’t need to be in your son’s life.”
Keep Your Boundaries!
Going against family could be challenging, but for users, OP needs to hang in there and fight—for her and her son.
“I’m so sorry that this is happening, OP. He’s not someone that your son needs to know or is losing anything at all from not knowing. Stay strong and keep your boundaries. Good luck,” commented one Redditor.
A woman said, “I truly hope OP stands her ground. And if they don’t change, then I hope OP makes the right decision and leaves. Because the support she needs right now is directed at the wrong person.”
What do you advise OP to do? Should she give them an ultimatum and cut contact?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her Brother From Seeing Her Newborn After He Pressured Her to Get an Abortion, Saying Men Won’t Date Single Moms Because They’re “Too Much Baggage.” Was She Selfish? on Quote Ambition.