This Redditor won’t allow her dad and his partner’s extreme views on veganism to ruin her big day, so she decided to uninvite them to avoid all the drama. Did she go too far?
Empty Promises?
OP (Original Poster) is currently 30 years old and will soon be getting married. Since she was a child, her dad had always promised her that he’d pay for her wedding.
She held onto his promise, knowing he would stick to his word. But now, OP is not so sure.
Extreme Views on Veganism
Five years before this story was posted, her dad started a relationship with a lady with “quite extreme views.” OP explained that she’s a vegan, which is inherently fine.
The problem was that she’s “very judgmental” of how OP lives.
Radical Beliefs
Her dad’s partner “doesn’t agree” with cancer scans like smear tests, mammograms, and more, because, for her, “vegans don’t get cancer.”
Then, when OP had her daughter, her dad’s partner said she should be feeding her almond milk, not breast milk.
A Funeral for Chicken Bones
She once came to OP’s house for dinner, and OP cooked chicken for herself and her family. On the other hand, she had a nut roast for her dad and his partner.
After the meal, her dad’s partner dug a hole in her garden “to give the chicken bones a proper funeral” because she was “so heartbroken” to see them eating its “flesh and blood.” OP said, “I wish I was joking.”
Uncalled-for Accusations
Her dad’s partner also accused OP of trying to steal her father’s house. But OP has never even met her dad, nor had she stepped foot in his house.
She said that all she knew was that he died recently.
Financial Woes
All that happened was that she had communicated to her dad some “cost of living worries.” She didn’t even ask for money, but her dad’s partner ran with it and said she was trying to “manipulate her” into giving OP her inheritance.
OP made it clear that she did not want her father’s partner’s inheritance at all!
An All-Vegan Policy
Given the background OP shared about her dad’s partner and his relationship with her, she said, “My father will only pay for my wedding if it’s vegan.”
However, the couple didn’t only demand vegan food; they wanted everything to be vegan. OP wrote, “This not only includes food, but shoes, alcohol, what other people wear, like leather, and anything else you can think of.”
Vegan Police
OP firmly refused to do so. She said she would have considered having vegan food catered.
However, she shared, “I’m not okay with policing what others wear or food they may bring for their babies—even formula—etc.”
An Upsetting Presence
Apart from her dad’s partner’s judgemental comments and snide remarks, she also upset OP’s mom before. She said she’d been “extremely rude to her.”
Upon careful consideration, OP ultimately decided to uninvite her and her dad.
It’s Not About the Money
Her father’s demands upset her, though it’s not solely because of the money. They’re having a very small and “cheap do,” anyway.
But her dad’s partner is now telling his side of the family that they were uninvited because OP’s bitter about her father not covering the wedding expenses. She’s also been telling people that OP’s still upset about not getting her dad’s house, but again, OP denied this statement.
Making Independent Decisions
More than the money, OP’s upset because her dad and his partner are trying to control her.
She said, “I don’t want to be controlled over what I can and can’t do on my wedding day. I’m sick of her judgment—and his, now she’s gotten her claws into him—and I just think it will be better for me, my siblings, and my mother if they do not come.”
No Room for Lectures
It’s OP’s wedding day, and, understandably, she wants to eliminate every possible source of stress, and right now, the main ones she wants to avoid are her dad and his partner.
She wrote, “I also don’t want to be lectured over milk, dairy, honey, palm oil, you name it, on my wedding day, and I don’t want to put my guests through it either.”
Different Views
Now OP’s asking if she was wrong to uninvite them because of their opposing beliefs.
OP wrote, “I might be the a**hole because I have uninvited my dad to my wedding because our views differ so much. I want him there in my heart, but he’s making it impossible. Some of his side of the family think I am wrong to do so, but I don’t know. I feel betrayed.”
Redditors’ Two Cents
The community flocked to the comments section to offer OP some reassuring words.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. He breaks a promise and tries to make everything about him, and his new partner causes tension, which is definitely not what a wedding is for. It’s your wedding and your decision. They dug their own grave and basically uninvited themselves.”
Making the World Revolve Around Her
Some called OP’s dad’s partner out for how selfish and entitled she had been acting, especially toward OP.
“I’m going to add that the father’s partner might have some issues with narcissism or personality disorders. Everything is about catering to her worldview and controlling everything around her, with some serious paranoia, too. That stuff about the house and her inheritance is wild,” remarked one Redditor.
Another commented, “Not the a**hole. With all the crap this crazy lady has been spewing, I would, at this point, actually tell my dad it’s either her or me because she is a bully, and you deserve better than that. The fact he is letting her bully you like that, to begin with, is messed up. We can all have our views, but they don’t need to be shoved into our faces, and the fact that she is trying to destroy your character—OP, you really don’t need that in your life.”
What would you do? Do you think OP’s dad could have done things differently?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her Dad From Her Wedding After He Said He Won’t Fund It if There’s No “All-Vegan” Policy. She’s Had Enough and Said, “I Don’t Want to Be Controlled!” on Quote Ambition.
