She gave birth but didn’t inform her father or stepmother about it because they acted disinterested while she was pregnant. Now they’re making her out to be the villain when she obviously isn’t!
Coming and Going
OP (Original Poster) is a 26-year-old woman. Her 59-year-old father has been in a relationship with a 38-year-old woman named Paula for four years.
She doesn’t know Paula that well because she moved in with her dad around the same time OP was moving out.
On the flip side, her 20-year-old sister still lived at home and liked Paula. While she didn’t dislike her, she felt Paula could be “annoying.”
Something Isn’t Quite Right
OP discovered later on that Paula acted odd toward pregnant women. Her strange behavior became clear to the family in 2021 when one of OP’s cousins announced they were having a baby.
Her cousin’s daughter would be the first great-grandchild in the family, and no one had been sure if their grandmother would live long enough to see it. Everyone in the family was happy except Paula.
No Reason to Fuss
Paula maintained that she didn’t understand why everyone thought it was a big deal. She said it wasn’t and didn’t understand what “all the fuss was about.”
Two Sides of the Coin
For nine months, Paul had kept her distance from OP’s cousin. That all changed when the baby was born, and she became so interested in the child that OP’s cousin became uncomfortable with her and her presence.
A couple of years later, OP and her 28-year-old husband announced they were having a baby.
As she expected, her father was “over the moon” because it was his first grandchild, and she figured that would make the pregnancy memorable for him.
OP’s sister told her that despite her father’s good mood, Paula had been just as condescending about it as they thought she would be, or maybe even worse.
Every time OP would announce something to do with the child, whether it was a first kick or ultrasound pictures, Paula would respond with “Okay,” “That’s not that big of a deal,” or “Is that all she talks about these days?”
OP brushed it off at first, but she started to notice that her father was becoming influenced by Paula’s behavior. He became more distant and “standoffish,” ignoring most of the baby updates.
When OP and her husband had a name reveal party with a fun game they made up, her father didn’t show up. He didn’t even come to the baby shower because “Paula doesn’t think it’s worth it.”
The Special Time Arrives
The baby was born on Halloween, but OP didn’t invite her father or Paula. They had shown no interest over the last months, so she didn’t see a point in asking them.
Friends and Family
The entire birth and recovery kept OP in the hospital for four days. During that time, the only people that came to visit them were their very close friends and family.
Time for Pictures
The day before OP left the hospital, she posted a picture of the baby on Instagram, and her father saw it. He asked OP why she hadn’t said anything or invited him or Paula to meet the baby.
The Harsh Truth
OP told them that since they hadn’t involved themselves, she didn’t think they deserved to know before everyone else. While she didn’t lie, her answer made her father and Paula furious.
They accused OP of using her son as a “pawn” and “keeping them away out of pettiness.” They said she held that “they missed a few dumb parties” against them.
A Family United
OP’s family and her husband supported her and thought she had a right to do what she did. But her sister sadly believed it was a little harsh since her father had to see it on social media, and it was his first grandkid.
Her sister also said she thinks it is all Paula’s fault and that OP should apologize to their father.
The Community’s Thoughts and Opinions
Many Redditors wanted to know more about Paula and why she was so strange with pregnancy. Most, however, came out in support of OP.
One of the top comments was, “Not the a**hole. Your dad made a choice, and that choice was to care more about Paula’s feelings than yours.”
Another upvoted comment put it a bit differently, saying, “Not the a**hole. If your dad wants a grandchild, he must act like a father first. And he’s not. He wasn’t interested then, so why should he be now?”
Something Else Going On
One thing was sure: Paula did have some issues and appeared to have OP’s father wrapped around her finger.
One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. They didn’t miss ‘dumb’ parties. To us parents, those family gatherings are significant. He made his choice when he followed along with Paula’s negative a**.”
What do you think about what OP did by revealing the birth of her son to her father over social media? Was she wrong to do it that way, or did he do more than enough to deserve it?
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This post first appeared as She Firmly Refused to Tell Her Dad and Stepmom She Gave Birth, Thinking They Didn’t Deserve to Know Because of Their “Disinterest.” but Now She’s Called “Petty” for Using Her Son as a “Pawn!” on Quote Ambition.