This Redditor turned to the community for comfort after her own mom shunned her for her existence. She didn’t do anything wrong and didn’t deserve this kind of treatment!
Her Only Daughter
OP (Original Poster) is 15 and is her mom’s only daughter from her previous marriage. Apart from that, she had two older brothers and three half-sisters.
Her mom had been planning her wedding for the past two months or so, and she and her fiancé had been engaged for one year when OP posted this story.
She wrote, “The wedding is in December and on the day before my birthday.”
Because of the timing, OP and her mom had been planning a birthday party for her while they were planning the wedding. OP said her mom “insisted it was alright” to have her birthday celebrated the day after the wedding and that she and her fiancé would go on their honeymoon the day after.
What About My Dress?
The week before this story was posted, OP’s mom talked to one of her friends about the color she wanted the bridesmaids’ dresses to be. Because she didn’t have a dress yet, she asked her mom when they’d started looking for her dress.
Her mom, after all, had asked her to be a flower girl. When she asked, she immediately saw the “disappointed look” on her face, which confused OP.
Let’s Talk Later
After a couple of minutes of silence, her mom said they’d talk about things later. Then, after a few hours, her mom approached her.
She thought it was time to talk about her dress. However, OP couldn’t be more wrong.
Things Going Downhill
Instead of discussing the dress, her mom sat her down and explained how her fiancé thought “it’d be a better fit” to have their three daughters—OP’s half-sisters—lead the wedding.
In her post, OP referred to her half-siblings as her stepsiblings because she didn’t have much of a relationship with them; she’d never been with them for more than five minutes because her mom “wouldn’t allow it.” However, she said, “I was cool with that, but it’s important to note that my mom had always wanted all girls. I was a girl, but I had looked too much like my father, which caused a strain in our relationship.”
OP’s dad explained that her mom had postpartum depression when she was born and “just couldn’t connect to her” because of it.
So, when OP’s mom gave birth to her younger half-sisters, triplets who looked so much like her mom, she was “obviously overjoyed.” OP was happy for her, but she was understandably hurt to see how differently they were treated.
Then, OP added that her mom didn’t have a great connection with her older brothers, either. Even so, it was significantly better because “they looked more like her.”
She said, “I know this is an overdramatic thing to say, but sometimes I feel like my mother didn’t feel as connected with me at birth because I was a letdown right out the gate.”
OP understood she wasn’t a flower girl anymore, but she expected she was still invited to the wedding. So, she still asked her mom about the dress because she still didn’t have one; her mom got the same “disappointed look” on her face.
OP’s mother said she wasn’t invited to the wedding “simply because her boyfriend thought she would upset his family because she was from her mom’s previous marriage and he didn’t like her dad.”
As if to add salt to OP’s wound, her mom told her the birthday celebration they were planning wasn’t happening either. OP said her mom’s fiancé wanted to go on their honeymoon “right away.”
Everything she was looking forward to was canceled.
Unleashing Her Anger
OP was understandably upset.
She wrote, “It turned into a screaming match with me yelling, ‘I’m sorry I don’t look like you enough for you to love me. I’m sorry you were too conceited for you to get over the fact I look like my dad.’”
Kicking Her Out
Then, as if being banned from her own mom’s wedding wasn’t enough, OP got kicked out by her mom’s fiancé in the same hour. Her mom “cried to him” about what OP said, and she got kicked out just like that.
On Her Side
When her two older brothers found out about what had happened, they both refused to attend the wedding. This upset her mom even more, but OP said she doesn’t care about what she feels anymore.
She sadly noted, “My brothers had an actual relationship with her, and I probably just messed it up by letting my anger get the best of me.”
In an edit, OP explained that she lived with her dad, and there wasn’t a custody agreement she was aware of. She would only visit her mom out of her free will or if her mom asked her to come over, so she “wasn’t obligated” to go there.
She explained, “My parents were only married two years prior to having my second brother, divorcing after his birth. They dated after the divorce as a way to make up with each other, but it didn’t work out, but they had me.”
OP also noted that her soon-to-be stepdad invited her brothers because “he actually liked them.” She said, “His family getting p***** that I’d be there was an excuse to exclude me. I honestly don’t care anymore about the situation, seeing as how my brothers have my back.”
Her dad had been threatening to call CPS, but she talked him out of it because she didn’t want her younger half-sisters involved “despite there being no relationship.”
Redditors’ Two Cents
People couldn’t believe how badly OP had been treated by her so-called mom.
This person wrote, “Not the a**hole in any way, shape, or form. This makes me so sad for you. Your mom, on the other hand, and her fiancé are major a**holes.”
Another commented, “Honey, you did not mess up their relationship. She is the one who chose to exile you from her wedding. She is the one who lied about your birthday. It’s the choices she had control of that your brothers are responding to. They know she’s 100% wrong. They also know you don’t deserve any of this. Trust them to know their own hearts. They love you.”
Do you feel for OP, too? What would you tell her to comfort her?
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This post first appeared as She Got Kicked Out and Banned From Her Mom’s Wedding After Her Fiancé Said Her Presence Would “Upset His Family.” It’s Punishment for Being a Child From a Previous Marriage! on Quote Ambition.