This woman just wanted to have her dream wedding come to fruition. So, when her bridesmaid repeatedly ignored her wishes, she kicked her out! Was she wrong to do so?
An Almost Perfect Wedding
OP (Original Poster) got married to the man of her dreams on the Friday this story was posted. Apart from one of her guests’ wedding dress choices, everything went smoothly.
She referred to this friend as Anna in this story.
As OP grew up on the seaside, she and her husband decided their wedding would be ocean-themed. So, she made it extremely clear to all her bridesmaids that they were to wear “blue, a coral pinky color, or pastel green.”
She said everyone loved her choice, except perhaps for Anna.
Anna’s Sad Truth
Anna’s mother passed away in January of 2023, which had been especially hard on her. OP wrote, “Her mother was the light of her life, and ever since she passed, Anna has been understandably uptight and distant.”
As her friend, OP had been present throughout her entire grieving time.
Her Mom’s Favorite Color
OP explained that Anna’s mom’s favorite color was “dark, vibrant purple.” When she died, Anna “would buy everything purple if there was a purple choice.”
So, one day, when OP and Anna were having lunch to catch up, Anna asked her if she could wear a purple dress to her wedding.
Not a Bridezilla
OP explained in her post that she wasn’t all that crazy about themes. However, she did pattern her wedding to support her family’s tradition.
She mentioned that her maid of honor would also wear a gorgeous pastel blue dress with purple and blue accents. So, after she called her then-fiancé to discuss the idea with him, she politely declined Anna’s request.
Left Feeling Hurt
OP told Anna that they understood what she was going through. Even so, they wanted all the bridesmaids to be on theme.
She wrote, “To this, she looked hurt and left lunch earlier than expected.”
After their discussion over lunch, Anna seemed to have distanced herself from OP. OP shared, “I hardly heard from Anna until around four weeks after our lunch, despite my attempts at texting, phoning, and even knocking on her door. But she’d continue to shut me off.”
Pushing the Bride
Anna kept ignoring OP but suddenly reached out, asking, “What do you think of these dresses?” Then, she sent OP many different purple dresses in photos.
So, OP “kindly reminded” Anna that she wouldn’t be wearing a purple dress to her wedding.
Not Reaching an Agreement
Anna was furious. So, OP tried to explain that though she understood her feelings, her wedding was her own special day.
After this, Anna blocked OP!
Two days later, Anna unblocked OP to apologize for how she acted. However, when the wedding rolled around, lo and behold, Anna showed up in a purple dress!
Going Against Her Wishes
OP was livid; she had tried talking to Anna multiple times to make her understand how she felt. But she just went ahead and ignored her!
So, she asked her why she had decided to go against her wishes. OP even told Anna that she either had to change or leave.
Creating a Scene
Anna then accused OP of causing a scene at her own wedding. She then called OP out for supposedly being “dramatic and disrespectful.”
Anna was screaming and called OP and her family “insensitive, selfish b*******!”
Anna was then escorted out of the venue and effectively kicked out of the wedding! After the ceremony, OP started receiving messages from Anna’s family, friends, and even Anna herself.
They were all defending Anna, saying she had been going through a lot, and OP’s actions made her look like an a**hole.
Could It Have Been Avoided?
OP thought she didn’t do anything wrong; it was her wedding, after all.
However, with many people criticizing her actions, she said, “I may be judged for this because to some it may seem insensitive as losing a parent is one of the worst pains, and that I ‘could have just let her wear the dress’ in order to avoid all this.”
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
For Redditors, OP is not the a**hole. Anna could have gone about things in a much better way.
One said, “Not the a**hole. If she’s grieving so deeply that she really needed to wear that color, she should have offered to step down as bridesmaid. As a guest, she could wear the purplest purple that ever purpled without an issue.” Another wrote, “It was your wedding. Not a memorial for her mother. You didn’t request anything out of the ordinary, and her friends and family are not helping her move through anything in a healthy manner.”
It’s Your Day!
Though Anna accused OP of being insensitive, Redditors believed she was the one who should be labeled this way.
“I understand wanting to pay tribute to her mother, but it isn’t her day. Absolutely not her day. She deserves a ‘not the a**hole’ for asking the first time, but she deserves a ‘the a**hole’ for every choice she made after you rejected her,” noted one user.
Do you think OP was in the wrong? What would you do if you were in her shoes?
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This post first appeared as She Kicked Her Bridesmaid Out of Her Wedding After She Ignored Her Wishes and Wore Her Dead Mom’s Favorite Color. Now She’s Accused of Being “Disrespectful and Selfish!” on Quote Ambition.