Her twin’s baby isn’t welcome at their brother’s wedding even though the bride’s sister’s infant was allowed to come. That’s simply unfair, and she won’t stand for it!
Do I Hear Wedding Bells?
OP’s (Original Poster) older brother is about to get married in December of 2023. Although it was a last-minute thing, OP is very happy for him.
A Newborn’s Needs
Apart from this, there’s another good news in OP’s family. OP’s twin sister has just had her first baby!
Her son will still need to be breastfed by the time the wedding occurs if all goes as planned.
Free of Kids Under 10
OP’s brother and his fiancé don’t want children under 10 to attend the wedding. However, there was a twist!
The bride’s sister’s infant is exempted from this rule. Since her sister and OP’s twin’s babies are the same age, everyone assumed OP’s twin would also be allowed, so they didn’t question it.
A Close-Minded Reason
But a week before OP shared this story on Reddit, her brother corrected them, saying their nephew wasn’t invited. For a while, he didn’t exactly say why, but it was later revealed that they didn’t want OP’s twin breastfeeding and “attracting attention” at the wedding.
Hearing this, OP’s twin said she doesn’t think she could attend. Surprisingly, their brother shrugged it off and said it was “fine.”
He said they just wouldn’t account for her in the guest list.
Scratched off the List
Understandably, OP’s twin got extremely upset but later blamed it on hormones. But since she’s always looked up to her brother, OP thinks it meant more than what she’s saying.
Now, basically, she’s no longer invited to the wedding.
Count Me Out, Too
Hurt by what had just happened, OP informed her brother that he could also take her off the guest list, as she wouldn’t attend the wedding without her sister and nephew.
Sooner rather than later, word got out among their family, and two younger siblings also decided they wouldn’t go.
OP wrote, “It’s created a bit of a situation, as you can probably imagine.”
A No Is a No
Because of that, OP’s brother is “p***** as all hell” and called OP, telling her she’s “ruined” his big day. Then, he begged her to speak to their younger siblings, asked her to attend the wedding, and so on.
But OP said, “I’ve always been firm in my no.”
The Golden Boy?
Eventually, their parents involved themselves or “stepped in,” as OP said. They are now doing the whole “you need to support your brother” thing.
No one else is on OP’s side besides her three siblings, who aren’t attending the wedding. OP added, “I was thinking it was because my brother is just the favorite—oldest, golden child—but now I’m wondering if I was seriously out of line.”
The Community’s Take on the Matter
For users, OP’s brother shouldn’t even be concerned about the fact that OP’s twin would be breastfeeding her son in front of everyone else. Like most other mothers, there’s a huge chance she would step away for a bit to nurse her son privately.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. It’s not fair that her sister’s baby is welcome and your sister’s baby isn’t. And does your brother really think she will be nursing at the dinner table? Most moms don’t even want to nurse in public. I can imagine the accommodation will be more than happy to find her a quiet room to nurse her baby.”
Everyone in this story, except OP and her three siblings, is really unfair, and it shows. Also, people pointed out that one can never be sure what children will do, and there’s no guarantee that the bride’s sister’s baby will behave accordingly at the ceremony.
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. He is letting a baby of the same age and equivalent relationship to one of them attend. At that age, all children are unpredictable, so the excuse that one baby will be quiet and peaceful during the ceremony and the other doesn’t apply. They are willing to make an exception for the bride’s sister, but not the groom’s.”
It’s up to You!
Redditors believe everyone has the right to decide and own up to whatever they choose. So, OP shouldn’t be blamed for anything!
Someone wrote, “He can’t accuse you of ruining his wedding because the siblings didn’t make their decision because of you. They made their decision because they agreed with you and found the bride’s and groom’s behavior unfair. You made a decision that concerns you and gave your reasons, but that doesn’t make you the a**hole. You’re free not to want to go to his wedding if you don’t feel like it. You are not responsible for the consequences of their actions.”
Another person wrote, “Not the a**hole. He can choose to invite you and your other siblings. You can choose to decline the invite. Just like he can choose not to invite your other sister.”
It’s Their Own Fault
Others pointed out that OP’s brother shouldn’t blame her since he and his bride are the ones who actually ruined their wedding and nobody else.
“Not the a**hole. He and his fiancé have ruined their wedding. What do they honestly think your sister is going to do? Lob a b*** out and suckle her child on every wedding photo? I can’t believe your parents are supporting this behavior,” a commenter wrote.
Was OP wrong or not? Would you be okay with having an infant present if you were getting married?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Attend Her Brother’s Wedding After He Banned Her Twin and Nephew Because Breastfeeding Him Is “Distracting.” Other Siblings Followed Suit, and Now She’s Accused of “Ruining” His Big Day! on Quote Ambition.