This Redditor is furious after her fiancé shamelessly asked her to pay his medical bills—like what she does for rent, food, and utilities. This time, she refused and left him at the hospital!
Split Finances
OP (Original Poster) has been with her fiancé for three years. However, until they’re married, their finances remain separate.
She said that they had equally paying jobs.
Footing the Bill
The problem was that OP always had to pay for everything.
OP wrote, “He doesn’t pay when we eat out. He doesn’t pay for any fixes in our rental apartment and also doesn’t help with furniture and stuff.”
Her Pains and His Excuses
OP tried to talk with her fiancé about how she felt about footing the bill for almost everything.
However, her fiancé tried to make an excuse and said he’s been saving for a new apartment.
It’s been two years since he started “saving,” so it’s plausible that OP’s also been footing the bill for two years.
Being Unfair
OP thinks her fiancé is unfair because even if he’s saving, he still has half of his salary, which he uses to buy gadgets and “gaming stuff.”
She said, “When I try to argue about it, he’d say it’s his money after all and remind me of how he’s saving up to buy an apartment for us.”
In Pain
A few days before this story was posted, OP’s fiancé called her and asked her to take him to the hospital. His ankle had been hurting for weeks, and he finally decided to get it treated.
Being Asked to Pay
OP drove him to the hospital since he couldn’t drive with his injured ankle. However, she was surprised when he asked her to pay the bill.
The Same Excuse
She was frustrated, so she asked him why she should pay. Then, he brought up the apartment he’s been saving for again.
OP wrote, “I had it, especially after he threatened to not add my name to the new apartment’s title if I refused to help him out.”
The Threat Didn’t Work
His threat to remove OP from the apartment’s title did not work on her. Instead, she snapped and told her fiancé to pay the bill himself and to stop using her money with the apartment as an excuse.
After that, OP up and left.
True Colors?
OP’s fiancé was furious that he had to pay, so he told OP that she had “let him down in his time of struggle.” He also told her that she “wasn’t partner material.”
In turn, OP retorted and said she felt he was using the new apartment to spend her money.
Bigger Issue
OP’s fiancé didn’t want to back down. He said she had “no empathy or sense of responsibility when he was doing her a huge favor of buying her an entire apartment.”
Then, he called OP “selfish” and “negative.” OP said, “I feel guilty for doing this, and now he’s avoiding me entirely.”
How She Feels
She clarified that she might be the a**hole for not paying for the hospital bill.
OP said, “I might be the a**hole for not paying the hospital’s bill and letting him figure it out on his own after he’s already made a big sacrifice to buy us an apartment.”
Insights From Redditors
For the community, OP should leave the relationship as soon as possible.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. You are being used—100%; when he has enough money for the apartment, he dumps you. Stop footing the bill. Leave him.”
Save Yourself
Redditors also advised OP to be prepared for the worst possible outcome.
“At the least, OP should be saving all her receipts and be able to show sources of payment, so when they separate, she has proof of what is hers because you can just tell he is the kind of guy who will say he gets part of everything because it was a joint purchase. Honestly, though, if you can’t sit down and figure out a reasonable compromise, be prepared to always have him expecting you to pay for things. Now it is the apartment. After you get the apartment, it will be that he is saving for something else for the family,” said one woman.
He’s Using You!
The community wanted OP to realize that perhaps her fiancé is just there for her money.
One user wrote, “He’s totally using her, and even if the funds are there, there’s nothing to stop him from just leaving once his financial goal is met. He needs to pay his half of the expenses. Not the a**hole.” Another replied, “It makes no sense for her to pay for stuff and him to save when they could both pay for stuff and both save. Poor OP needs to get out!”
Do you think OP should break up with her fiancé? What do you think of this issue?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Cover Her Fiancé’s Hospital Expenses Because She’d Had Enough of Him Trying to Use the Apartment He’s Saving for as an Excuse. Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.
