This soon-to-be mom was offended when her sister-in-law not-so-subtly questioned her fidelity to her husband. She was asked to take a paternity test “for insurance,” but she’s sure the issue is much more than that!
Beef With Her Sister-In-Law
OP’s (Original Poster) husband had one older sister and one younger brother. She noted that she got along with her in-laws, except for her sister-in-law.
She has always felt that her sister-in-law “doesn’t like her very much.” OP wrote, “She is never outright rude, but she very clearly does not see me as part of the family.”
Her husband’s siblings told their family they would not have kids. His sister said it was because of preference, and his younger brother said it was because of a health condition.
Meanwhile, OP’s pregnant with her first child and had just passed her first trimester when this story was posted.
Not Meant for Her Eyes
The day before this story was posted, OP and her husband were out for a drive when his phone pinged a few times. He then asked OP to check his phone since he was driving.
However, OP was absolutely shocked by what she saw. It was a text from her sister-in-law telling her husband that he should “absolutely get a paternity test” for their baby and that it would be a “big mistake” not to.
What’s Going On?
OP couldn’t find the words to show how surprised she was to see the message. So, she immediately demanded her husband tell her what her sister-in-law was talking about.
For Insurance Purposes Only
Her husband explained that immediately after they announced their pregnancy via Zoom, his sister called him to suggest and insist he take a paternity test “for insurance.”
However, he immediately turned her down, saying he trusted OP. He also said they’d been married for five years, and the baby was conceived while they were in lockdown; they spent every waking second together!
In a Negative Headspace
In an edit, OP explained that her husband was “extremely upset” when his sister called. He also told her to “b*** out,” and that’s why she sent the text, following up on their initial discussion.
She added, “He said he didn’t say anything to me initially because he knew it was offensive, and we just got over the first trimester.”
No Doubt in My Mind
OP also reinforced the fact that there was no doubt that the baby was her husband’s. She said, “It’s either him or God.”
Sister-In-Law’s “Valid” Reasons?
Despite OP’s husband’s refusal, her sister-in-law seemed to think her reasons behind the request were valid.
OP wrote, “She will most likely be leaving her assets to our baby since no one else is carrying on the family name and wants to be sure she isn’t leaving it to some random’s baby.”
It’s Free Money!
Her husband told her that he’d “deal with it.” However, a part of him feels like they “should just do it” if it meant their child—and future kids—would inherit his sister’s assets.
OP shared, “He expressed to me privately that we should just do it for the ‘free money’ but did not in any way agree with his sister. He thinks free money is free money but will do what I want if I insist. He thinks it’s dumb to deny our kids the opportunity to inherit when the solution is so easy.”
An All-Time Low
However, OP wasn’t having it. She was “beyond insulted” that her sister-in-law even dared question her fidelity and her child’s paternity and will never cave to her “insane demand.”
We Don’t Even Need It
OP doesn’t even believe that they need her sister-in-law’s estate. She shared that she and her husband are “very financially stable” and “will not need any financial assistance.”
Not a Great Come-on
She explained that her sister-in-law isn’t wealthy by any means. If any, she has a history of making poor financial decisions, so OP doubts there would be anything left for her child to inherit.
OP explained, “My sister-in-law has not accumulated any personal wealth; this is just based on her assumption that she will have something left over since she’s not having kids herself. I also feel that anything she gifts our children will come with significant strings attached.”
It’s up to Them
In her edits, OP explained that though she’d never give in to her sister-in-law’s demands, she’d never forbid her child and future kids from taking a paternity test in the future if they wanted a cut of their aunt’s estate.
She wrote, “If my kids want to do a paternity or genetic test in the future to inherit her $500, then sure, that’s their call, and I won’t oppose.”
The Community’s Reactions
Redditors advised OP to stand her ground. Her sister-in-law wasn’t doing this because she genuinely believed OP had been unfaithful; she wanted to make her feel bad and humiliated.
One said, “Not the a**hole; she is doing this not because she genuinely thinks the family has been duped, but because it is a way to humiliate you by implying you are a liar and a cheat, have power over you, and establish her and her brother as a team and you the outsider. I wouldn’t do it either. Your kids are provided for already, and keep in mind, nothing stops her from making more demands while holding the money over your heads if you capitulate.”
Another person agreed, saying, “Plus, it’s not like she’s dying now. She’ll likely have decades to lord this idea over you, continually demanding new concessions in exchange for the hope of the same inheritance from her over and over again. Tell her to put a contingency in the will about it and let the kids decide if they want to be tested when they’re old enough.”
Your Husband Needs to Grow a Backbone!
People also put OP’s husband under the spotlight for not doing more to defend her.
“Not the a**hole. I think it’s dumber not to back up your wife when your family treats her like an adulterer,” one user pointed out.
One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. Your husband needs to acknowledge that his sister accused you of silently slithering out of bed in the middle of the night while your husband was sleeping to meet some random guy for unprotected s** during a pandemic lockdown.”
What do you think? Who’s the villain here: OP’s sister-in-law, her husband, or both?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Do a Paternity Test, Even if Her Child Would Lose Out on Her Sister-In-Law’s Estate. She’s “Beyond Insulted,” but Her Husband Thinks It’s “Free Money!” on Quote Ambition.