This Redditor is at her wit’s end after her sister asks her to cover some expenses for her big day. She refused, and now her sister’s wedding is on the brink of collapse!
OP (Original Poster) is a 33-year-old with a 31-year-old sister, Jamie. She’s already married, while Jamie is engaged and deep in wedding planning.
When they got engaged, both sisters received a hefty amount from their parents as wedding gifts—$25,000! Per OP, their parents wanted the money to be used as part of wedding expenses and to get them started on some savings.
Even with the $25,000 on hand, OP and her husband only had a small, intimate ceremony two years back, allowing them to save $20,000. They had the ceremony in her parents’ backyard, and OP used her mom’s old dress.
The only things they paid for were food and photography. The money they saved from OP’s parents’ gift was put into savings.
She Had a Lot to Say
OP and her husband were very happy and content with how their wedding day went. But it was not the same for Jamie.
OP said, “She practically spent every single family event after the wedding gossiping about how my wedding was so ‘trashy and cheap.’” She mentioned that she believes Jamie expected much more from their wedding because they could afford it; OP is a software engineer, and her husband is a surgeon.
Now, Jamie is planning her wedding, and OP said she plans to go all out for it. If Jamie and her future husband could afford it, there’s no problem with this.
The problem was that they couldn’t. OP shared, “She has become a greedy bridezilla asking anyone and everyone for cash.”
Jamie went to their parents, but understandably, they refused to give her more. After all, they had already gifted her $25,000, which is a lot of money.
A few other family members chipped in, but it only amounted to around $5,000 at maximum. Unfortunately, Jamie knew that OP had saved $20,000 from her own wedding, and she also knew that she and her husband had a good amount of money saved because of their occupations!
Give Me Something Big!
OP shared that Jamie had constantly asked her to give her the $20,000 for her wedding. If not, Jamie wanted her sister to pay for other items like the bachelorette, bridal shower, honeymoon, or rehearsal dinner.
You Can Afford It
For Jamie, there’s no doubt that her sister and her husband could afford it. OP said in her post, “Her reasoning is that my husband and I could easily afford to gift her one of these things.”
Jamie even pointed out that OP gifted one of their cousins with a honeymoon trip a year back—why couldn’t she do the same for her one and only sister?
No Compassion for Her
However, for OP, her sister didn’t deserve a gift like that from her, especially with how Jamie treated her and her wedding. She knew she could afford it, but she didn’t want to.
OP said, “In all honesty, I don’t want to give her anything after she treated me so poorly following my own wedding.”
Selfish and Immature?
OP refused and told Jamie she didn’t want to support someone who didn’t support her on her wedding day. After this, Jamie told their family that OP was “selfish and immature.”
Why She Needs Money
It turns out that Jamie was very desperate to get more money for her wedding. She had paid deposits for vendors and services for her wedding and expected OP to agree and pay for everything!
Now, Jamie is left with no money to complete her payments. She couldn’t cancel them and get her deposits back, either.
Should She Help Her Sister?
Jamie is at risk of losing everything she planned for her wedding and even risks losing the rest of the money she still has.
So, OP said, “Now my family wants me to help her out so she doesn’t lose the little money she already has.” But OP doesn’t think this is her problem, so she doesn’t want to get involved.
What the Community Has to Say
The community backed up OP in her predicament. They believe she doesn’t owe her sister anything, and that, as a grown adult, her sister should be responsible for her actions.
You Don’t Owe Her a Cent!
People wanted to point out that it was Jamie’s choice to spend a lot without proper budgeting. A top comment was, “She got a sum of money for it, and if she can’t stay within that budget, nobody else needs to pay her a penny. You don’t owe her even five cents.”
Another shared, “Sister’s audacity is so lacking in self-awareness that it’s almost comical. Even if she hadn’t spent the last two years publicly trashing OP’s wedding, she still wouldn’t be entitled to any money. And her behavior after OP’s decision only shows that OP made the right one.”
Why Would You Expect Someone Else to Pay?
Redditors also couldn’t grasp how simply and easily Jamie assumed someone else would pay for things she wanted at her own wedding.
One said, “Why do people plan events that are outside their budget and then expect others to make up the difference? $25,000 is a lot of money if spent wisely. It seems she banked on having the $20,000 you saved from the outset. No—just plain no.”
Do you think OP did the right thing? Should she help Jamie out?
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