This Redditor’s sister turned her back on OP (Original Poster) and their mom when life got tough. Now she wants a bigger share of the inheritance, but OP doesn’t think she deserves it!
Growing Up With Two Sisters
OP is currently 35, and she has two sisters. Her disabled middle sister, Stephanie, died when she was 30, and her oldest sister, Susan, is 42.
The Other Woman
Unfortunately, the three sisters didn’t have a happy family life. Their father had many affairs, and he eventually left them when they were still kids so he could move across the country with his girlfriend.
All on Her Own
OP’s mom had to step up and care for all of them; she had to take care of Stephanie all alone!
The worst thing is that OP’s father didn’t pay all the child support he was supposed to.
Consequently, “money was always tight,” even though her dad “lived well” because his then-girlfriend, now his wife, was rich.
Blaming Her for Everything
OP’s mom raised them all alone and did everything for them. Sadly, Susan didn’t see the sacrifices their mom had to make.
OP wrote, “My sister was angry that my father left and blamed my mom. My middle sister and I were very good and loved my mom a lot. Susan blamed my mom for my dad leaving and blamed my handicapped sister for getting all my mom’s attention.”
She’s a Narcissistic Person!
When Susan got older, she became very successful in her field—finance—and earned a lot of money. Still, her bad attitude toward their mom didn’t change; OP believed she was narcissistic like their dad.
She would yell at their mom, saying she was a “terrible” mother. Later, OP and Susan stopped talking because of the “countless s***** things she would do and say.”
Breaking Off Their Bond
Two years before OP’s mom died, Susan got upset at their mom over where to go on vacation. It got so bad that she yelled that she’d never wanted to see their mom or OP again.
OP wrote, “She cut ties with both of us. I had stopped talking to her years before but would see her at birthdays. It absolutely broke my mom’s heart.”
This absolutely pained OP’s mom’s heart. She had already lost Stephanie, and now she’s losing her oldest child, too.
She shared, “Her oldest child said she hated her. I was all she had, and I talked to her daily and saw her multiple times a week. My mom was an amazing woman and mom and gave up everything to raise us.”
Updating Her Will
After a year and a half of Susan ignoring them, OP’s mom changed her will. Instead of 80% of her assets being split between OP and Susan and 20% being split between grandkids, 80% would now go solely to OP, and 20% would be divided between Susan and her grandkids.
OP said that their mom’s estate amounted to around $250,000.
Losing Her Mom
Later that year, OP’s mom got sick and passed away. Although Susan was told by many people about their mom’s condition, she remained firm and kept her anger.
She knew her mom was sick and dying, but she did nothing. OP cared for her mom on her own.
A Genuine Change in Attitude?
However, OP explained that she might be the “a**hole” because Susan did help her in the last two months of their mom’s life.
She wrote, “She would help me almost every day along with aids and hospice.”
She’s Absolutely Furious
After their mom died, Susan found out that their mom changed her will. She was “p*****” that OP didn’t tell her, and now she’s telling everyone that OP’s an “a**hole.”
Still, OP’s not keen on giving Susan more than what was in the will. She said, “I am a social worker with a small child, and she lives in a million-dollar mansion with no small children.”
It Was Not My Place
OP admitted to not telling her sister about the change in the will. However, she said, “My mom was not competent in the last two months, and my sister never made amends with her.”
She acknowledged the help she provided, but still, OP was not sure if she should have told her.
OP has a lot of questions running through her mind. She asked, “Should I have told her? Should I have split the money?”
The Community’s Two Cents
Redditors flocked to the comments section to try and reassure OP that she wasn’t wrong to keep the changes in the will a secret from her sister.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Not your responsibility. Your sister has no reason to be mad at you.”
Another said, “No, no, and I’m sorry for your loss. Forget about your sister, and have a great life!”
She’s in It for the Money
Some users also think that Susan was present in the last two months of their mom’s life to ensure she got her cut of the inheritance.
“The only reason why OP’s sister did the bare minimum toward the end of her mother’s life was because she wanted the money. Sounds like sister apple doesn’t fall far from daddy tree,” commented one Redditor.
Follow Your Mom’s Wishes
The community also reminded OP that her mom wished to give her the 80%. Her sister helping in the last two months, without apologizing or making amends, doesn’t change that.
One Redditor said, “She was expecting that 80% split with sister. She got a 20% split. But even if the mom wanted to, there wasn’t any way to make any new changes at that late stage. Plus, what’s more valuable? A relationship with your mom or her cash? Not the a**hole, OP. Follow your mom’s will and her wishes.”
“Not the a**hole. Your sister sounds like she was angry at your mom for getting less than she felt she was entitled to as a child. Now she’s angry at you for getting less than she feels entitled to as an adult. This is just who she is. Until she decides to look at why she feels entitled, this behavior is probably not going to change. I am sorry for your loss,” commented one woman.
What do you think of OP’s sister’s actions? Do you think OP should give Susan more money?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Give Her Sister a Bigger Portion of the Inheritance Their Mother Left. She Didn’t Care That Their Mom Was Dying, so She Didn’t Deserve a Cent More! on Quote Ambition.