This Redditor’s daughter-in-law owns a restaurant, and she suddenly asked her for a $100,000 loan. She was going to say yes until everything went down the drain after she was called a “control freak!”
About a year before this story was posted, OP’s (Original Poster) daughter-in-law opened a new restaurant. It was hers and hers alone, as OP’s son wasn’t involved because he worked a full-time job.
So, one day, she decided to go for a visit, and frankly, she was “not impressed.”
Consistency is crucial at a restaurant, and that’s not what the mother-in-law found when visiting her daughter-in-law’s restaurant. She thinks that the food is “decent” but “inconsistent.”
OP wrote, “The soup is always lukewarm, and sometimes the dishes are hotter than the food.”
Not only was the food lukewarm, but the staff wasn’t that nice, either. She says they spent more time talking to one another than they did doing their job and seemed glued to their phones.
This meant tables were everywhere that hadn’t been cleaned long after the patrons had finished their meals and left.
Non-existent Hygiene Standards
During OP’s most recent visit, the table next to her was empty yet “full of dirty dishes” for the whole duration of her stay. To make matters worse, the restroom was a mess, too!
She wrote, “The restroom was never clean on any of my visits and was out of soap more times than it had soap.”
Putting in Her Loan Request
Then, the night before OP posted this story, she decided to have her children and their respective families over for dinner on a Sunday night.
During dinner, her daughter-in-law asked her for a $100,000 loan for the restaurant.
Booming Business No More
While asking for the loan, her daughter-in-law explained that recently, the business had been inconsistent, and it was difficult to predict profit on a day-to-day business.
As a result, she’s “burned through” a lot of her savings, and it won’t be long until she’s out entirely.
Yes, but With Conditions
The conversation over dinner lasted for a while until OP finally offered her daughter-in-law the loan. However, she did clarify that there would have to be some changes in how she ran the place.
OP talked about what she had seen and experienced on her visits and suggested how her daughter-in-law could fix them.
Sadly, her daughter-in-law didn’t take things well. After everything was said, she got “very agitated” and asked OP how many restaurants she had previously owned.
OP knew things were turning sour fast, but she still answered, saying, “None, but I’ve never sky-dived before but know enough not to jump out of a plane without a parachute.”
An Eventful Family Dinner
This comment got everyone else’s attention at the dinner table, although they didn’t say anything.
OP’s daughter-in-law seethed for a bit, processing what her mother-in-law said and how she would reply.
A Daughter-In-Law’s Retort
Eventually, OP’s daughter-in-law responded by saying that because she owns the restaurant, she doesn’t need advice from somebody who has never run a restaurant. That was fair, and OP said she’ll “give her this point.”
However, things took a turn for the worse when OP’s daughter-in-law accused OP of being a “control freak” for trying to tell her what to do with her own business.
Pulling Out Her Money
At this point, the mother-in-law decided it was a good idea to take back her loan offer.
This marked the end of the dinner, and the rest of the family decided it best to head home instead of staying until Tuesday as initially planned.
OP said that while she hasn’t heard from her son yet, she has heard from her other kids, who say they are “split on the issue.”
Some of her kids believe it’s her choice to loan the money or not, but they don’t think that she should be telling her daughter-in-law what to do with her business.
What Should Have Been
On the flip side, her other kids believe that if she’s taking a financial risk and offering a loan with her money, she should get a say in how her daughter-in-law uses it and runs the restaurant.
Redditors’ Thoughts on the Problem
Redditors don’t believe that OP is controlling. Instead, they think that she’s well within her rights to attach conditions to her loan.
The top commenter said, “She’s asking for a large loan. You are understandably worried about if she will be able to repay you. Giving opinions on how to increase business in order to ensure your loan is a good decision on your part is valid. It’s your money and your choice. If it doesn’t seem like a good investment, don’t do it. Not the a**hole.”
“Not the a**hole. OP may not have owned a restaurant, but she’s probably dined at many. She was offering a customer’s perspective. And a simple truth is restaurants fail often. Estimates say 80% fail in 5 years. That’s a crazy failure rate. Imagine any other business that would be considered tragic; in restaurants, it’s just consider how it goes,” commented another user.
Way Out of Line
Commenters believe that the daughter-in-law is out of line for getting so defensive. They say it’s more than just a loan; it’s a “financial investment.”
A woman wrote, “I would stop calling it a loan. The only way you get that money back is if the business succeeds. This makes you a partner. Do you really want to go into business with your family?”
Someone else said, “Not the a**hole, and she sounds like a foolish brat. There’s a reason her income is spotty, and she needs to borrow money. Unless she learns to stop being defensive and hear feedback as a growth opportunity, her business will continue to flounder. Hearing hard truths may have been better coming from a business coach or advisor of some sort, but she put you in that position when she asked for money. Any reasonable investor is going to want to evaluate the business, tax returns, a business plan, etc.”
Was OP right to take back her loan? What would you say to the daughter-in-law?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Loan Her Daughter-In-Law $100,000 for Her Restaurant After She Insulted Her and Called Her a “Control Freak.” She’s Absolutely Livid and Won’t Allow Someone to Disrespect Her! on Quote Ambition.