Being caught up in a messy family situation would never end well. So, this young Redditor turned to the community for advice on dealing with her family problems!
You Happened to Happen
OP (Original Poster) was never planned. Her parents “never really dated.”
They were only friends in college, and per her biological dad, whom she called “Papa,” she “happened to happen.”
No Permanent Home
Because of this, OP spent her first few years jumping in between her mom’s and dad’s homes. When she was three, her mom had her younger half-sister with her current husband.
Her half-sister was born “severely disabled,” so her mom decided to move to Chicago, near her parents, so her half-sister could have the support system she needed.
Finding a Place to Call Home
With this development, OP permanently moved into her papa’s house. During this time, he was already in a relationship with his future husband, whom OP called “Dad.”
Her stepdad had two kids from a previous relationship, aged four and six.
Growing Up Together
They were all close in age and grew up together. So, it was only normal that they all became as close as could be.
She shared, “My bonus siblings’ mother passed, and so we grew up together as proper siblings—no jumping houses or splitting weekends.”
Though she grew up in a happy and loving family, OP’s paternal grandparents couldn’t accept that their only son was gay.
She shared, “My grandparents on my papa’s side are h***phobic as f***. They only had one child, my papa. He has always been very clear that he’s a proud gay man. They refuse to acknowledge that; they disowned him and never spoke to him or wanted anything to do with him for over 20 years.”
Their Only Grandchild
Even if they despised OP’s biological dad’s choices, they “wanted” OP.
She wrote, “They would send me gifts for my birthday and Christmas, would call and check up on me.”
Going With the Flow
Her grandparents, sadly, looked at her as “proof” that their son chose “this ungodly life.” They said that if he wanted to, he could be “a good man.”
OP disagreed with them, and when she became a teen, she tried to put distance between them. However, since they were highly influential, she soon learned that it was better for her to play along than put up a fight.
Becoming a Millionaire
OP’s grandparents passed away due to the pandemic in 2021, and they left everything to OP! She said their estate “adds up to a few hundred million in assets as they owned several vacation units in several countries.”
However, she clarified that she didn’t suddenly have millions in her bank account. She said, “I didn’t inherit a bunch of money that they dropped into my bank account, nor do I have tons of houses that are all in my name. Every home was owned by a company that my grandparents owned. I inherited the company.”
You Deserve It
She initially tried to sign everything to her papa, but he said he wanted nothing to do with her paternal grandparents. He told her it was a “life-changing opportunity” for her and that she should accept it herself.
OP then decided that she’d share everything with her bonus siblings instead, so they split everything evenly between the three of them.
She wrote, “I believe that’s fair. While the grandparents were never cruel to my siblings, it was clear they didn’t approve of them. Giving their hard-earned 40-year empire to people they hated felt really great in a way.”
An Angry Phone Call
Then, her mom’s husband somehow heard of OP’s inheritance and what she did with it. He called her, furious, and said that it was “disgusting” and “disgraceful” to give the money to “married strangers and not her own flesh and blood.”
Appeal to the Emotions
He tried guilt-tripping OP and said that he and her mom had three kids now, and two of them are disabled and will “require lifelong care.”
She shared, “Their youngest had an accident and broke his neck or spine when he was young and ended up a paraplegic.”
It’s Your Responsibility
Her mom’s husband then told OP it was her responsibility as their older sibling to look after them. He added that the money would be “crucial to them living a full life.”
However, OP’s not too keen about giving them the money. She said, “Besides a few weekends and one week every summer, I haven’t seen my mother or her family since I was three. I’m not close to them.”
Her dads were “p***ed” when she told them, and they “chewed her mom’s husband out.”
The issue became bigger and bigger, soon becoming a huge fight. She said, “Now everyone is mad at everyone, and my mom called me saying that it’s up to me but that I have the opportunity to make a real difference, and I’d be cruel not to take it.”
The Community’s Thoughts
Redditors were impressed with OP’s generosity and tried to comfort her, saying that she did the right thing.
One said, “Not the a**hole. It’s so amazing that you split it evenly between your bonus siblings, which was your choice. Flesh and blood mean nothing, really. And the fact they decided to pressure you is unfair. Do what you feel is right, no one else. Whether that’s keeping your money because it is yours or giving them some, in no way are you obligated to do anything else. Good luck.”
Another replied, “You sound like a super-smart and well-grounded young lady. Your fathers did an awesome job raising you, and they should be very proud of the person you have become. You are not the a**hole in this situation. Funny how money brings out the best in some people—you—and the worst in others—your stepfather and mother. Stick to your ‘no,’ at least for now. If, at some date in the future, the mood strikes you, set up a small trust to help cover care costs for our half-siblings, but only if you feel like it. No one should pressure you to do something you don’t want to.”
What do you think OP should do? Any more pieces of advice?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Share Her Multi-Million-Dollar Inheritance With Her Estranged Half-Siblings and Chose Her Bonus Siblings Instead. Now She’s Called “Disgusting” for Not Helping Her “Own Flesh and Blood!” on Quote Ambition.