A woman asked if it was wrong of her to think of herself first, even if her cousin won’t get anything from their racist grandfather. All things considered, we think she’s right!
Reduced to Almost Nothing
OP (Original Poster) is a 45-year-old woman with a 32-year-old cousin with whom she’s almost estranged. They’re not close, and in the past five years, they’ve texted each other only once.
They come from a “very small” family, and they’re considered the “last kids.” OP wrote, “Besides us, there are only four other people left.”
Loose Family Connections
Sadly, OP isn’t close to her grandfather, either.
She moved away when she was 20 and has only seen him twice. She noted that she hadn’t seen him since their grandmother passed away.
Her Indifference
A couple of years ago, her cousin married someone of a different race and had kids together. She noted that she didn’t have any problem with this.
OP said, “To be honest, I don’t even think about her or her family, so you can say I’m indifferent to the entire thing.”
Strong Opinions and Beliefs
However, the same could not be said about OP’s grandfather. He’s “super racist” and thinks it’s an “abomination.”
So, he cut OP’s cousin and her family out of his will! He even cut out her mom, one of his children, because she supported the marriage.
Cutting Ties
OP’s grandfather told them what he was doing. He also said “several other things” OP can’t share online.
However, she wanted to point out that things were so bad that OP’s cousin’s family hadn’t spoken to him since then.
Nearing the End
She then shared that her grandfather recently had a health scare and had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. Because of this, OP’s mom, her grandfather’s other daughter, took care of him.
She also started working with his attorney to “put things in order” because of his “advanced age.”
Inheritance Issues
This was when issues about their grandfather’s will started resurfacing. While fixing things, they discovered that he really did disinherit OP’s aunt, cousin, and their entire family.
OP wrote, “This means the only people left in his will are me, my mom, and two others.”
Is It Time to Fight Back?
Since the issue came about, OP’s cousin, aunt, and their family have been rallying her and their other relatives to “stand against” OP’s grandfather. They want them to either change the will or renounce their inheritances because it was “the right thing to do.”
Not Too Keen
However, OP doesn’t want to because she needs the money. She disagrees with her grandfather’s world views but still has bills to pay.
OP wrote, “With the predicted economic downturn, his money will be a safety net if I lose my job.”
Going Against Each Other
When OP told her cousin about this, she was accused of being a “racist a**hole.” OP tried telling her she wasn’t and that she only cared about how the money would help her.
OP wrote, “She said if that’s the case, I should stand with her to force him to change his will.”
Varying Opinions
Although OP’s cousin is so sure of the outcome, OP isn’t. She said, “I don’t think it’ll work out like she has it in her head.”
A Safety Net
OP also clarified that the money they’d inherit did not equal millions.
She wrote, “I’m not going to be able to play tennis with Elon Musk at the country club. It’ll just be a nice safety net for several years if I lose my job and can’t find a new one.”
Life-Changing Decisions
Now, OP’s left to wonder whether it’s wrong of her to choose her inheritance over her cousin.
She will get her share if she does so, but her cousin will get nothing. Is this a selfish move?
The Community’s Thoughts
For users, OP not getting a cent won’t change anything. So, she should make the most of what she has.
One said, “Not the a**hole. Either you get the money, or someone else does. It’s better the money stays in the family than going to some charity.”
Another agreed, saying, “Especially since Grandpa Dearest’s favorite ‘charity’ is probably some version of the Ku Klux Klan.”
Why Should You Suffer?
Others noted that OP’s cousin’s request didn’t make sense. Why should she have to suffer when she didn’t do anything to contribute to her cousin’s current situation?
“So because your aunt and cousin are not going to profit from grandfather’s death, then you should suffer too? This makes no sense. While I don’t agree with your grandfather’s reasoning, he has every right to leave his money to whomever he pleases or not leave it to anyone. Give it to total strangers or any charity or organization he decides,” said one woman.
The same person said, “Since your grandfather’s health has begun to decline, the current heirs would be able to argue that a new will made at this point might not be valid as he might be unduly influenced thinking he is on the verge of death.”
Sharing Is Caring
Some Redditors suggested it’d be best if OP and the rest of her relatives shared their inheritance with her cousin’s family after the fact or once they got their hands on their respective inheritances.
One woman said, “You should split that inheritance with them after the fact. The only reason they were written out is because your grandpa was being racist, and you would be following in that lead if you continued to cut them out after you received the inheritance. Everyone is struggling right now in this economic climate; I’m sure they need it as much as you.”
She added, “Legally, you’re in the clear if you keep your whole share, but morally, you would be an a**hole just like your grandfather is.”
What should OP do? Should she side with her grandfather or split her inheritance and share it with her cousin’s family once she gets a hold of it?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Support Her Estranged Cousin Against Their Racist Grandfather Who Thinks Other Races Are an “Abomination.” if She Helps, She’d Lose Her Inheritance. She’d Rather Have Her Money! on Quote Ambition.
