This user admits she’s always been the family’s black sheep. But now she’s taking it a step further by refusing to be controlled by her grandfather’s wishes from the grave!
The Black Sheep of the Family
OP (Original Poster) belonged to a family of academics. Her mom and older sister are doctors, and her dad has a PhD.
Meanwhile, her older brother was the high school valedictorian and is now an “extremely successful engineer.”
Not up to Par
On the other hand, OP “barely graduated” high school. She also refused to go to college.
She wrote, “When I told my parents I hadn’t enrolled in community college like they wanted, they threw me out and told me I wasn’t welcome home until I was ready for college.”
Finding Her Own People
So, OP moved in with some friends who were going to the same college and had rented a house. She worked to cover her share of the rent and soon got “really into computer programming” in her spare time.
Working On Her Passions
A year later, OP landed her first software engineering job. Feeling proud of herself, she returned to her family, thinking they, too, would be proud of what she had accomplished.
It’s Never Enough
Sadly, instead of being proud of her, OP’s family “mocked” her for only making $20 an hour when her brother had just graduated with a computer science degree and was making $100,000 a year.
Making a Name for Herself
So, OP pushed herself further and continued pursuing what made her happy. She learned everything she could at her job, and a few years later, she got an “amazing job offer” as a Senior Software Engineer.
OP wrote, “I continued to work my way up, and I make $150,000 now. It’s a bit below market rate for a software engineer with my experience and skill set, and I’m sure I could earn more if I had a college degree. But I’m happy. Zero regrets.”
Mending Relationships
So far, OP has only made amends with her brother. She “tolerates” the rest of her family but doesn’t voluntarily spend much time with them.
She shared, “None of them ever really got over me not going to college, and the worst is my grandpa, who brought it up constantly when we were together.”
A Rocky Relationship With Her Grandfather
OP’s relationship with her grandpa got so bad that it came to a point where OP “straight up refused” to see him, even in the last years of his life.
When she cut him off, the rest of her family stopped pressuring her so much, which improved their relationship in a way.
Commanding From the Grave
Unfortunately, OP’s grandfather died before the pandemic hit. When he did, she ended up with an inheritance of around $150,000, but it wasn’t without stipulations.
OP wrote, “The will said he wanted me to use it to pay for school. When I heard that, I rolled my eyes so hard that I almost had a stroke. In my opinion, inheritance should be a gift, not a way to control your relatives from beyond the grave. I also didn’t really appreciate my grandpa using his final words to remind me that I’m just not good enough.”
Financial Decisions
OP is currently maxing out her IRA and 401K this year, and she put a lot of money toward paying off her house. However, she’s also planning on using her newfound wealth to go on a “hugely expensive” trip around Europe.
You Only Live Once!
She mentioned that she had already spoken to her boss about this, and the company was willing to give her a two-month vacation.
OP said, “I would’ve gone already if covid hadn’t hit. YOLO and all.”
Unfounded Assumptions
However, OP’s family assumed she was only waiting for the pandemic to pass before enrolling in college. So, OP was absolutely shocked when her mom brought it up the week before this story was posted.
Time to Reconsider Your Choices
Without thinking about the consequences, OP told her mom that she wasn’t using her inheritance for school; she was going to Europe instead!
Now everyone in her family—aside from her brother—is saying she’s an “a**hole” for not honoring her grandfather’s wishes. They told her that if she really felt that way, then she shouldn’t have taken the inheritance.”
Following Her Heart
Even with everyone having something to say about her decision, OP wants to follow her gut.
She said, “I don’t want to take four years away from my job to get a piece of paper that I’ve found success without. Am I the a**hole?”
Insights From Redditors
People rallied behind OP, reassuring her that she should do what she wants with the money.
One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. If the money is already in your account and didn’t stipulate that you couldn’t have it if you didn’t enroll in college, then do what you want. You can’t please everyone, and it sounds like you’re doing well for yourself despite what your family says. Enjoy life!”
Another exclaimed, “Man, your life sounds great, OP. You don’t need to go to college to be successful or happy—as you’ve clearly proved. Go on that trip and have the time of your life!”
Varying Opinions on the Topic
While Redditors support OP doing what she wants, some also told her that she could find a compromise; there are some courses, after all, that might be beneficial to her. However, she should only go for it if it’s something she wants to do.
“I don’t think it’s arrogant to suggest courses for enjoyment and personal enrichment. And they aren’t wrong that the courses would be much different than high school. I’d suggest the same thing—if you want to, take a few classes that sound like things you want to learn, and don’t worry about the grades,” wrote one woman.
But some disagreed with this, and one said, “There’s no offense; I just think it’s annoying to tell someone who’s very clear that they’re not interested in college that they should take college classes. OP seems happy with their salary. Money doesn’t seem to be an issue at all. Given their parents’ jobs and insistence on college, it’s not very reasonable to assume money was ever an issue. They just aren’t interested in college. It’s not a good suggestion.”
What should OP do? Do you think she should just go on that trip to Europe and enjoy life?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Use Her $150,000 Inheritance for College. Instead, She’ll Go on a “Hugely Expensive” European Vacation, Saying, “Inheritance Is Not a Way to Control Relatives From the Grave!” on Quote Ambition.
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