100 Ted Lasso Quotes on Sports, Teamwork, and More

Jumpstart your journey toward success through these Ted Lasso quotes!

Ted Lasso is a TV series that combines sports comedy and drama. It follows the story of a college football coach hired to coach an English soccer team.

Despite his lack of soccer knowledge, he is confident and believes that the team dynamic is more important than wins and losses. Through Ted Lasso, we learn how vital leadership is in succeeding and being happy in life.

Indeed, this series has plenty of inspiring lines that will warm the hearts and minds of fans. Don’t miss out on the most memorable lines from the show that we’ve compiled below!

Let’s start.

And make sure to check out these Cobra Kai quotes and Schitt’s Creek quotes.

Best Ted Lasso Quotes

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1. “If you care about someone, and you have a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through together.” – Ted Lasso

2. “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” – Ted Lasso

3. “If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.” – Ted Lasso

4. “That’s the funny thing about coincidences, ain’t it? Sometimes they just happen.” – Ted Lasso

5. “I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.” – Ted Lasso

6. “I come bearing sweet treats to numb the sting of defeat.” – Ted Lasso

7. “I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad, and that’s being alone and being sad. Ain’t no one in this room alone.” – Ted Lasso

8. “I like the idea of someone becoming rich because of what they gave to the world, not just because of who their family is.” – Sam Obisanya

9. “I’ve never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. You know, it’s all part of growing up.” – Ted Lasso

Famous Ted Lasso Quotes

10. “I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right.” – Ted Lasso

11. “You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 12-second memory.” – Ted Lasso

12. “It’s like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth.” – Ted Lasso

13. “There’s two buttons I never like to hit, alright? And that’s ‘panic’ and ‘snooze.’” – Ted Lasso

14. “Back where I’m from, you try to end a game in a tie; well, that might as well be the first sign of the apocalypse.” – Ted Lasso

15. “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.” – Ted Lasso

16. “You tore your butt. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” – Ted Lasso

17. “Ice cream is the best. It’s kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live. Never disappoint.” – Ted Lasso

18. “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I’d hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of it, either.” – Ted Lasso

19. “If God would have wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.” – Ted Lasso

20. “That’s a real roller coaster there. Glad I was tall enough to go along on that ride.” – Ted Lasso

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Inspirational Ted Lasso Quotes

21. “As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.” – Ted Lasso

22. “I think that’s what it’s all about. Embracing change.” – Ted Lasso

23. “You say impossible, but all I hear is ‘I’m possible.’” – Ted Lasso

24. “Jamie, I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there, you’re just one of eleven. And if you just figure out some way to turn that ‘me’ into ‘us’—the sky’s the limit for you.” – Ted Lasso

25. “Living in the moment, it’s a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” – Ted Lasso

26. “So I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. ‘It’s the hope that kills you.’ Y’all know that? I disagree, you know. I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief.” – Ted Lasso

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Short Ted Lasso Quotes That Are Packed With Wisdom

27. “Every disadvantage has its advantage.” – Rebecca Welton

28. “Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing.” – Ted Lasso

29. “I am a strong and capable man. That’s my mantra.” – Colin Hughes

30. “Don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you.” – Ted Lasso

31. “I suppose the best brand is being yourself.” – Leslie Higgins

Great Ted Lasso Quotes for Sport Lovers

32. “It’s more than a game to me. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s who I am. That’s all I am.” – Roy Kent

33. “The second thing that you don’t want your opponent to know is that you’re tired.” – Ted Lasso

34. “Your body is like day-old rice. If it ain’t warmed up properly, something really bad could happen.” – Ted Lasso

35. “The idea behind every trick play is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii.” – Ted Lasso

Also read: Sports Quotes, Soccer Quotes

Ted Lasso Quotes to Highlight His Coaching Abilities

36. “For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.” – Ted Lasso

37. “I think one of the neatest things about being a coach is the connection you get to make with your players. That’s a loss that hits me a lot harder and is gonna stay with me a lot longer than anything that happens while playing a game on a patch of grass.” – Ted Lasso

38. “I came here tonight, because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life coaching with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin ASAP.” – Ted Lasso

39. “I want you to know, I value each of your opinions, even when you’re wrong.” – Ted Lasso

40. “In my mind, you gotta have three things to be a Premier League team. One, you gotta play physical, two, you gotta give 100% until the final whistle, and three, you gotta be sponsored by a Middle-Eastern airline.” – Ted Lasso

41. “Come on, Rob! You gotta get it in there to get three points!” – Ted Lasso

42. “Will you explain to me how that was offside? No! I’m asking you. Seriously! Explain offside to me. It makes no sense.” – Ted Lasso

43. “Because he’s the one, coach. If we’re gonna make an impact here, the first domino needs to fall right inside of that man’s heart.” – Ted Lasso

44. “Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even do this?” – Ted Lasso

45. “Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson, on a high.” – Ted Lasso

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Funny Ted Lasso Quotes

46. “Little girls are mysterious. And silly and powerful. I gave up trying to figure them out years ago.” – Ted Lasso

47. “I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.” – Keeley Jones

48. “Little tip for y’all. Fries are called chips. Chips are called crisps. And bangers aren’t great songs, but they do make you feel like dancing because they’re so darn tasty.” – Ted Lasso

49. “Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.” – Ted Lasso

50. “Seems like a smurf with an attitude would be a lot of fun to watch.” – Ted Lasso

51. “Look, we are not playing for a tie. Ain’t nobody here gonna kiss their sister—which is an American phrase that I’m now realizing does not exist here, and that’s good, ’cause it’s creepy, and I hate it myself; I don’t know why I said it.” – Ted Lasso

52. “There’s a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter. Heck, someone made an account for my mustache.” – Ted Lasso

53. “I gotta say, man, sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the channel hopper. You just push all the wrong buttons.” – Ted Lasso

54. “If I didn’t have any confidence, I never would’ve worn pajamas to my prom and ended up in jail the rest of that night.” – Ted Lasso

55. “We’re gonna call this drill ‘The Exorcist’ ’cause it’s all about controlling possession.” – Ted Lasso

56. “What do you have to be sad about? Did one of the Paw Patrol dogs die?” – Ted Lasso

57. “It’s good for my sciatica too. The vibrations really help out my butt.” – Ted Lasso

58. “I don’t drink coffee. My mother always says I was born caffeinated.” – Dani Rojas

59. Ted Lasso: “I thought you quit smoking.”

Kelley Jones: “I have—this just covers the smell of the boots.”

60. “I feel like we fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down, ending up in a pool of cash and Sour Patch Kids.” – Ted Lasso

Also read: Funny Quotes

Ted Lasso Quotes to Tickle Your Curiosity

61. “I’m sort of famous for being almost famous.” – Keeley Jones

62. “A palace made out of crystal seems mighty fragile to me.” – Ted Lasso

63. “If the Lasso way is wrong, it’s hard to imagine being right.” – Trent Crim

64. “I’m gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did back in 1964 when they defined p*rn*graphy. It ain’t easy to explain, but you know it when you see it.” – Ted Lasso

65. “I shouldn’t bring an umbrella to brainstorm.” – Ted Lasso

66. “It’s funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that makes you cry knowing that they’re now gone.” – Ted Lasso

67. “What better thing to spend money on than love?” – Jamie Tartt

68. “Fight or flight is a natural response. You just happened to do both. Impressive range, really.” – Sharon Fieldstone

69. “Divorce is hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re the one leaving or if—you’re the one who got left. It makes folks do crazy things.” – Ted Lasso

70. “Sometimes the best way to stick it to the man is to go right between his legs.” – Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso Quotes That Will Help You Get To Know the Characters Better

71. “You deserve someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by f*cking lightning. Don’t you dare settle for fine.” – Roy Kent

72. “It’s sometimes good to bottle things up. That’s how we get pickles!” – Ted Lasso

73. “I can diagnose myself in a heartbeat. I thought being invulnerable would protect me, so I pushed people away for years, leading me directly to my greatest fear—being alone. Big whoop.” – Rebecca Welton

74. “I’d like to be reincarnated as a tiger—and then ravage anyone who looked at me wrong.” – Nathan Shelley

75. “It’s kind of like back in the ’80s when ‘bad’ meant ‘good.’” – Ted Lasso

76. “My relationship is the oxygen that gives me life.” – Leslie Higgins

Interesting Ted Lasso Quotes That Depict His Worldview

77. “I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we.” – Ted Lasso

78. “Guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school, and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, ‘be curious, not judgmental.’ I like that.” – Ted Lasso

79. “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.” – Ted Lasso

80. “I have a really tricky time hearing folks that don’t believe in themselves.” – Ted Lasso 

81. “I’m looking forward to the definition of relegation.” – Ted Lasso

82. “Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage water. I don’t know why y’all do that.” – Ted Lasso

83. “Rule number one: even though it’s called girl talk sometimes it needs to be more like girl listen. – Ted Lasso

84. Rebecca Welton: “Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?”

Ted Lasso: “I do. But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves.”

85. “You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t wanna hear it. All right?” – Ted Lasso

86. “We all know speed is important. But being able to stop and change directions quickly? Well, that’s like Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak. It doesn’t get nearly enough credit.” – Ted Lasso

87. “If y’all were really introverts, you would’ve been quiet as a church mouse. Unless that church was Westboro Baptist. Those turkeys won’t shut up.” – Ted Lasso

88. “That’s a special young man right there. Got talent for days, works hard, and he’s got a jawline like the White Cliffs of Dover. I’m always rooting for him.” – Ted Lasso

89. “What I can tell you is that with the exception of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, not much lasts forever.” – Ted Lasso

90. “Be honest with me. It’s a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren’t around, y’all know it tastes like garbage? You don’t love it. It’s pigeon sweat.” – Ted Lasso

91. “Coach Beard’s views on romantic relationships are not too dissimilar from his views on cooking steak. You know, if you spend any more than five minutes on one—it loses its flavor.” – Ted Lasso

Also read: Calvin and Hobbes Quotes

Sarcastic Ted Lasso Quotes That’ll Trigger You

92. “I always feel so bad for the cows, but you gotta do it; otherwise, they get lost. That was a branding joke. If we were in Kansas right now, I’d just be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing.” – Ted Lasso

93. “You’re telling me I could shatter every bone in my body, someone could just drop me off in front of an old hospital, dumped into a garbage can or something, and y’all patch me up, and I don’t have to pay jack squat? I tell you; I love this country.” – Ted Lasso

94. “Enjoy your trophies for winning nothing.” – Roy Kent

95. “Most adults think kids need to be constantly entertained. It’s bullshit. I didn’t need a f*cking parade every day growing up, did you? Truth is—they just want to feel like they’re part of our lives. Little idiots.” – Roy Kent

96. “Does my face look like it’s in the mood for shape-based jokes?” – Roy Kent

More Ted Lasso Quotes for the Fans of the Show

97. “Oh what a lovely inscription—that you wrote completely over my head, face, and body.” – Ted Lasso

98. “You should do a ‘Ted Talk, ’cause right now you’re getting a whole heap of ‘Ted Listen.’” – Ted Lasso

99. “We’re gonna try it on and see if it fits. It might not. Then again, it might be a very flattering silhouette. I might wear it right out of the store. Makes me feel good, start to strut. Oooh, I like this. I like the way this makes me feel.” – Ted Lasso

100. “Like I always say, sometimes the best stew is the one you leave sitting on the stove overnight ’cause you fell asleep watching Citizen Kane after too many beers.” – Ted Lasso

Did Our Collection Teach You Anything New About Leadership and Kindness?

In most sitcoms, characters need multiple seasons to develop and take shape. But, that’s not the case for Ted Lasso. Here, the characters have evolved significantly since their first appearance on the show.

Ted Lasso has been so well-received that there are already some announcements about its third season. Some may find the series too comedic and light. But, no one can ever contest the tangible takeaways and lessons it offers us.

Throughout its two seasons, they covered a lot about relationships, family, and success. These themes make the show so relatable that we just can’t get enough!

Thanks to Ted Lasso, we learn that empowerment and self-assurance are two aspects of one’s personality that should never be compromised. Remember, if we believe in ourselves and the people who root for us, anything is possible.

Were you inspired by our collection? List your favorite quotes below!